I went shopping to buy the perfect pair of birthday boots. I packed up ‘The Titanic’ (AKA double pram),decked myself out in a ‘shopping ensemble’ that said ‘ready and willing to spend cashola’ and skipped the light fandango into town.
I was standing in a mall and in the walkway was a pop up stall of beautiful, beauty products for beautiful beauty regime type people and Nubile backpackers offering samples to all lady passers by. Almost all. I stood in front of the stall, and smiled even……the girl looked right through me, and that’s when I realised – I AM A MAGICIAN.
Any magician worth their salt will tell you that the hardest, most prestigious trick to perform is that of making someone disappear. My friends, without even trying, I have mastered this trick. I wish I’d also mastered some levitation stuff because I would totally have gone all Chris Angel on her ass to get her attention. Alas, I slunk off with my Babycino covered toddler who was squawking ‘MORE, MOOORE’ at the top of his lungs, whilst dangling precariously out of the pram. How could she not see us?
Well, more fool you, lady, with your skinny, malinky long legs and impossibly plucked brows. I’ll have you know that I’m tired and hormonal, and that makes me vulnerable prey. I probably would have bought your over priced and, no doubt, ineffective face gloop. Maybe I have noticed of late that my laugh lines keep laughing for a couple of seconds after I stop. Perhaps, a couple of days shy of my 36th birthday, I’ve perceived that my eyes are not lined by dancing crows feet but by a large, boot scooting, family of ostriches.
Yes, I’m in the market for a little product so you thoroughly missed that boat.
I was glum for a moment, but then I found those boots….and you know the best thing about those perfect, brown birthday boots?
They were 50% off. Boo yah.
That would make my shopping trip 100% successful, right?
How do you top that? Kitchen Sink Cookies and cup of tea whilst wearing said boots.
Kitchen Sink Cookies are so named because I throw in pretty much anything and everything. All those leftover corners of cereal, random nuts, chocolate, dried fruit, oats, whatever. If you’re super game try some pretzels or potato chips a la Momfuku…….I keep it fairly straight laced.
This time, after I took the photo of cereal, cranberries, chocolate and nuts, I discovered crystallised ginger, sunflower seeds and dates too.
Yield – 24 cookies
You will need (hope my trainer’s not reading this) –
1 cup of butter
3/4 cup raw sugar
1/2 brown sugar
2 teaspoon baking powder
1 3/4 cups plain flour
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon salt
3 cups of Kitchen sink ingredients
suggestions – choc chips, dried apricots, cranberries, dates and sultanas, puffed rice, crushed cereal, oats, nuts, seeds, pretzels.
Cream your butter and sugars for a few minutes and then add your eggs one at a time. Add vanilla and mix on high for about 7-8 minutes.
Lower speed and add flour, baking powder and salt. Mix until it just comes together then stop. Add your 3 cups of joy and stir until just combined.
Portion into tablespoon sized balls and refrigerate for at least one hour.
Pre-heat over to 180C and cook for about 10 minutes until golden brown on the edges and beginning to colour in the middle. They will go puffy in the middle too.
Cool on the tray as they come out soft and harden as they cool.