Lessons From A Rat……looking back while looking forward.

September 7, 2012

6 months ago, on a sunny morning in the park I was lamenting to my friends that I felt like I needed a project. They suggested I start a blog.

Who on Earth would want to read what I have to say? I queried.

You’d be surprised, they answered.

A little seed was sown and that very afternoon Keeping Up With The Holsbys was born.
And I love it.

Suddenly, my little project has opened a world of possibilities and introduced me to many friends around the world. I have a cyber village with a tribe of people who care about my family and I, and who make me think and who inspire me every day.

I’m not an overnight sensation, nor do I have a movie deal, but right now, I have what I need. A voice. An outlet……Besides, I’m not yet buff enough to play myself in the movie, so I need a little bit of time.
There have been massive personal ups and downs in this half-year, a new gorgeous baby girl, my baby boy is more like a little man, friends come and friends gone, and life keeps marching on to some wacky old tune.

I’m enjoying chronicling my journey, and I love that you love to share it with me.

I wanted to re-post my very first post today, for two reasons. One to remind myself how far I’ve come in the last 6 months, but also, because I really liked this post and it was read by pretty much family only because I had no peeps then!

I’m sure by now, you’re all familiar with ratty. He makes many appearances throughout, and he truly is the fifth family member.

I really love that rat.

Lessons From A Rat

My almost-two-year old son’s best friend is a rat.

He’s funny looking – Ratty, not my progeny -, rather smelly (could be referring to either but still Ratty, irrespective of regular washing) and due to an unfortunate incident with my favourite Clinique lipstick recently, oddly, pinky, stained down one side of his cafe latte coloured fur……but all of this aside, D Man loves him unconditionally.

Whether he saw him 10 minutes ago, or two hours ago, his little, often grubby, face lights up when he sees him and with true, heart exploding love he embraces his friend and kisses his smelly, and possibly soggy snout. He has no expectations of Ratty, just love.

Pure and simple.

He doesn’t care where Rat has been, or what he’s been up to, or which of the other furry friends he’s been cavorting with in D Man’s absence – He’s just thrilled to bits at seeing his best friend again.

Perhaps there is something to be learned from the simplicity of this friendship?

The nature of friendship is something I’ve pondered greatly over the last two years since I’ve had D Man and my life has been turned upside down in a brown-banana -smears-and -stinky -nappy- flavoured manner, but it’s also something I’ve discussed at length with others of late.

Friendship appears, at times, to have an almost tidal nature. It waxes and wanes in a luna fashion. We are drawn apart and come back together, sometimes in a crashing wave we’re thrown back together, other times with a gentle surge we’re guided back towards our old friend.

The fact is, lives take different paths and yet sometimes we cling, in my case with the dishpan hands Mrs Palmolive warned us about, to the memory of a friendship that was and grieve it’s passing.

Where once there was Martinis, high heels and lipstick smears at dawn, there is now in it’s stead coffees in a park teeming with children and snippets of broken conversation as you try to gossip whilst keeping one eye on your child as they kamikaze off a jungle gym. Sensible Birkenstocks have replaced the heels and suncream and vegemite smears are the new make-up. I, and my life, have definitely, infinitely changed…..but what about my friends that have not?

Now please don’t get me wrong here, a few of my child free friends have embraced my little stinker as if he’s of their own loins, and slowly, one-by-one many of my old buddies are sprouting babes of their own (I was by no means a young mother but still a trail blazer in this field, if none other). I have found many new fabulous friends within a circle of mamas since ‘the change’ but many single peeps have fallen by the wayside.

Perhaps one day the tide of our friendship will come back in, but I know that ultimately the only thing guaranteed in life is there will be change, and if that change is brought about by little people, who raise their chubby little hands to you, snuggle into your neck and sigh ‘wee wee’, then change should be embraced and casualties will always be remembered fondly, through slightly foggy Martini shaped glasses.

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  • Reply Fabulous Mommy September 7, 2012 at 8:36 am

    Glad to be part of your cyber tribe.

    I can’t wait to see what my boys will choose as their Rattys. Little developing people and their proclivities. It is such an adventure.

  • Reply Helen R September 7, 2012 at 9:48 am

    I’ve very much enjoyed reading your blog the past 6 months and cooking the recipes. The pancakes are made about once a week in the Rydge household, much to Alice’s delight and the koftes, schnitzel, pork with marmalade, and smoked cod chowder have slipped into my repertoire of regular dinners.
    It has been lovely to see what is happening with you now that we no longer bump into each other in the Bay.
    Xx Helen

    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys September 8, 2012 at 7:44 pm

      Thanks, Helen… I love knowing that you guys are eating my food and Alice likes it! Love to you all, as always.
      Hope you’re sleeping better.

  • Reply Bunny Eats Design September 7, 2012 at 3:58 pm

    Everything comes in waves and cycles. This gets me through the tough or busy times, but it’s also important to remember during the sugary sweet times. Blogging is a chance to capture all the moments. I have been blogging 2 years this month. It is part of my life now.

    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys September 8, 2012 at 7:43 pm

      2 years!! Happy blog-birthday! I love what you do…..

      • Reply Bunny Eats Design September 9, 2012 at 2:07 pm

        Thanks sweetie. I think I better do some kind of birthday post too!

        • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys September 9, 2012 at 7:05 pm

          Maybe I should too? Good excuse for cake? We know how I feel about cake……

          • Bunny Eats Design September 10, 2012 at 6:56 am

            I like cake, I don’t love it. I’m a meat tooth rather than a sweet tooth. Maybe a birthday fish cake is more my thing.

          • Keeping Up With The Holsbys September 10, 2012 at 4:52 pm

            I’m an everything tooth, I tell ya…….it ain’t easy choosing sometimes 😉

          • Bunny Eats Design September 10, 2012 at 8:55 pm

            You must be an eat tooth 🙂

  • Reply Mrs H September 7, 2012 at 7:10 pm

    So true re friendship. I think I’ve almost accepted now that however gorgeous a new person I meet is or however good the ‘click’, there’s every possibility we don’t become friends purely through time and practicality. Friendship takes work and changes in lives, locations, schools or what have you can make or break them, i agree with you. I have found the ability to see girlfriends in the week with our kids such a pleasure when we don’t necessarily know each other as families (aka I have a husband who is extremely reticent to make new friends of husbands of my friends!). Much as the move to school age is fab, it is the next change for local friends in particular-are we actually friends as adults enough to spend precious and long-awaited solitary daytime together? I await the answer with interest…

    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys September 8, 2012 at 7:42 pm

      I know what you mean exactly. I find that getting the families together can be a weird dynamic too. Sometimes it clicks, and sometimes….it don’t!

  • Reply Mrs H September 7, 2012 at 7:10 pm

    Ps love your blog and this post – good idea to reblog!

  • Reply butmostlymommy September 8, 2012 at 5:06 am

    This one hits me right now. Sadly, my high school friends moved away and my college friends are single or at least childless–and hours away. I haven’t found people to replace those whose tides have not changed as mine have or who have been washed to other shores. Thanks for (another) thoughtful post.

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