My head

A Letter To Myself, One Month On – September

September 27, 2012

Hey you,

I thought I would jump up and write this to you today because today seems to be an auspicious day.
Last night was KiKi’s best sleep in about 6 weeks, and just one good night makes you feel as though there is light at the end of the tunnel, and that light is not a train.

You woke with such great optimism and pep that you were even brave enough to jump on the scales. Finally, after a million batches of biscuits, you are only 500g from your pre-baby weight. You know deep down you don’t deserve it, but all that lack of sleep has to be good for something, right?
Very jammy, darling. Very jammy indeed.

It’s amazing how a skinny day and good sleep can make the world seem a better place. You can do anything today –  even leap tall buildings in a single bound! Best make sure you wear trousers though as a skirt could leave people with retina damage.

It’s been a lovely month. Having your Dad to visit was so special. 10 days was the longest time he’s ever visited for and it was sad to see him leave. It’s funny how your relationship is growing stronger the older you get. I guess learning that your parents are just people too, is one of the biggest lessons ever.
Your Dad wasn’t emotionally or physically available growing up, but the relationship is so great now, I know you wouldn’t change it, for fear of the balance being shifted somehow.
Hearing him say ‘I love you’ to his grandson will stay in your heart forever, for they were not words he could easily say when you were a child, but now they come naturally.
D Man positively bloomed to be near him, and poor old Grandpapa needed a holiday when he left. I sincerely hope that he comes to visit regularly.

Family was always important to you, but never more so than now. Watching relationships blossom between your children and their grandparents is priceless, but also important.
History is important. Knowing where you come from is important.

One in and one out the door, because now your in-laws are here.
They are different to your people, and you need to remember that. They are good people, earnest people, and they love your family in their own gentle way.

It’s equally important for these relationships to grow as they are one half of your babies, and that half has as much history, as much richness, and as much love as yours.
Your Mama Bear will be here next week, too, so already next month is shaping up to be another special time.

Only one more month to go until the big Half Iron Man for Mister H. All these months of hard training, compromising and sacrificing are coming into fruition. One day you won’t remember any of that stuff, only the great achievement made by your man. He set himself a wild dream and he worked hard to make it happen. It’s commendable, and when you think of the physical toil it takes, it’s actually quite insurmountable for many people. Things will slow down a bit after that, at least for a minute until he gets the bug again.

It’ll be wonderful to all go as a family to see him compete. It will mean the world to him to have his babies, and of course, his wife, on the sideline….and Lord knows, he’ll need some moral support for his gruelling race.
You have not loved this Iron Man journey, but you vowed on that October day in 2010 to support each other’s dreams, and that is an important vow.

You’re doing really well on your project. You need to not let self-doubt creep in. Try to remember that you are absolutely good enough, for whatever you want. Just take the steps, one at a time, and reach for what you want. There is no space to believe you won’t succeed, but you must also remember that success takes many guises.
Just keep doing it because you love it, and trust that the rest will follow.

All in all, you’re doing so much better. You’ve got a great little groove on and your energy is good.

I love you heaps, don’t ever forget it.



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  • Reply Bunny Eats Design September 27, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    Awww. Your letter to yourself reminds us to be grateful about our lives and to be truthful bout our goals and our accomplishments. I bet that extra 500g is the weight of love on your heart since Kiki was born. Love and stuff is heavier than you think.

    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys September 30, 2012 at 8:48 pm

      I just saw this comment. What a great comment it is. I love that checking in with myself makes you grateful…. And that love is heavier than blubber!

  • Reply Francesca Esposito-Rose, Business Mentor @ thelikeffect September 28, 2012 at 4:38 pm

    holey moley, your “letters” always seem to make me tear up. you are such a wonderfully earnest writer, I am loving watching you bloom and I just can’t say “go you” enough times, in enough different ways. your courage is such an inspiration. I love your work from the bottom of my heart xx Francesca

    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys September 28, 2012 at 4:49 pm

      Shucks… know how to make a girl feel awesome! Thanks Francesca, it means a lot to me. Truly.

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