My head

My Love To Jill Meagher

September 28, 2012

I read an article the other day saying that the biggest thing females have to fear is being female.

We fear sexual assault. We fear domestic violence. We fear abduction. If we are poor, we fear being trafficked. If we are rich, we fear what researchers say all women fear the most – we fear rape.

I didn’t think too much about it, except to nod my head and say yeah, I guess I fear that more than sharks and spiders. That is indeed a big fear.

These days I’m less and less in the position where something like this may occur, but after two sexual assaults in broad daylight in the last six months, it’s obvious that anything can happen any time.

Our news has been dominated for the last week by a raven haired beauty with a wide open smile. Her name was Jill Meagher, and she is just like us. Middle class, nice job, nice clothes, and after a nice night out with friends the unthinkable happened.

She was walking home from a bar on Friday night and she never made it to her safe, warm bed.
It was a notoriously dodgy route, and it was dark, but her greatest fault was simply that she was a woman.

They released CCTV footage that showed her walking on her merry way when she was stopped by a dude in a blue-hoodie and she had a chat. She was 450m from her home. She continued walking and then that is the last anyone saw of her until her raped and battered body was found 50km from there last night.
When the man in the hoodie stopped her, presumably with a question, I wonder if her greatest fear was rape or violence?

I wonder if ever there was a man who walked home late at night, a bit pissy, and thought, I better keep my wits about me, I don’t want to look vulnerable?
Just by being born a woman you’re automatically at risk from the physically stronger sex. Of course, very few men are capable of such atrocities but it only takes one, doesn’t it?
My mind is reeling with the unjustness of it. The insanity of it.

I’m deeply saddened by this news of Jill. I guess we all hoped maybe she’d be found alive.
I send so much love to her, that poor scared girl, and I wish it ended differently for her. I cannot imagine her horror.

I send equal amounts of love to her family, for although she will live on in their hearts, in their imagination they will always ponder the terrible details.

I’m so sorry, Jill. I’m so sorry for you.

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  • Reply Sharon September 28, 2012 at 8:22 am

    Yes Danielle, you have expressed the emotions & sadness that so many of us are feeling for Jill & her family & friends. It is traumatic enough when a loved one dies an untimely death but to have their precious life taken from them is inexplicable. We can only hope that the outpouring of love & sympathy will give them some comfort in their grief

  • Reply empressnasigoreng September 28, 2012 at 8:35 am

    I blogged on this article too: So sad about Jill Meagher. My teenage daughter has also been following the case with anxiety and I feel bad that she has to now start worrying about things like this.

  • Reply empressnasigoreng September 28, 2012 at 8:39 am

    Reblogged this on Empressnasigoreng's Blog and commented:
    Another post inspired by the fear article and the Jill Meagher case. Her body was found in a shallow grave and a man arrested. So very sad and has really put the wind up many Australian women.

  • Reply Mikadie September 28, 2012 at 9:02 am

    I can’t put my finger on why this particular incident in a world filled with cruelty and violence has so shocked me but it has. I just never quite believed that she wouldn’t come home. What a terrible, terrible ordeal for everyone involved. My heart goes out to her friends and family and may time, in some small way, lessen the pain.

    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys September 28, 2012 at 1:33 pm

      I totally agree. It has affected me significantly more than many other crimes…..maybe because she was so close to home, or so similar to me.
      Many people are praying for the family so I truly hope the power of prayer can heal.

  • Reply Jeff Steller September 28, 2012 at 10:48 am

    This has really shown how vunerable women can be in these situations, as it’s “in our own backyard” and not a plot from an American crime show.. Last night (before the tragic news was released) I walked a lady to her car after a gig at a wine bar, as this had been a topic of conversation during the evening. Her car was only 30 metres from the door, but that’s all it takes…. as we now know.
    Men and women reading Danielle’s blog, NEVER EVER let a women leave a premises at night on her own. Whatever she says, INSIST on escorting her to her car. Women, please ORDER you man to escort a female friend. Let’s not allow this senseless tragedy to happen again.
    RIP Jill.

    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys September 28, 2012 at 1:34 pm

      It’s true, Unc, we forget and get complacent and then it happens again…..a few drinks, a short walk, we think we’re safe and/or invincible.
      Everyone needs to take care of everyone. It’s a jungle out there.

  • Reply yasmin tselepis September 28, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    what a touching piece Danielle, it captured this moment perfectly. I read your post on the way to training this morning after hearing the news on-line as I was checking emails etc. I can’t tell you the rage that has erupted inside me. The pure, hateful rage towards this low life, piece of scum that did this to this defenceless women. I took many deep breaths to try & get a grip and said a pray for Jill and her family. But the rage just keeps creeping back. For my unborn babies sake I am trying to block it out and not think what this poor women went through and try to keep the negative energy at bay, to let go. If there is one thing that get’s my blood boiling it is the cruel, gutless, fucking demented acts towards the helpless. Not that it will reverse what has happened, although I wish for a severe, eternal, painful existence for the person (ha) that did this… may he rot & be brutally punished in prison time & time & time & time again … time to move on. Infinite, Love & Gratitude, (IL&G) Yaz xx

    Date: Thu, 27 Sep 2012 22:10:23 +0000 To: [email protected]

  • Reply Jillian Carlon September 28, 2012 at 8:26 pm

    Very well said Danielle. The apparent ease of the predator who did this and the speed at which he did it is the most shocking for me. Maybe it is just the video footage that makes me think this because one moment Jill is there, the next she is gone – never to be seen alive again. My heart goes out to her husband and family.

  • Reply Zanni Arnot September 30, 2012 at 7:44 pm

    This story was so unbelievably tragic Danielle. And really hit a bone with so many women in Jill’s ‘category’. I guess it made us all feel vulnerable. There wasn’t a single female Facebook friend on my page who didn’t make some comment about Jill the day her body was recovered. I used to live around the corner from that street in Brunswick. I was Jill, many a night, and quite often on my own. I didn’t ever feel scared…but maybe I should have. Thank you for sharing this perspective about this awful event. I am so so sorry for Jill too. x

  • Reply LG October 1, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    News like this makes me want to send my daughter back into my womb and curl up in fetal position.
    I wonder if the world will ever be safe for everyone and we can live without the constant, almost involuntary vigilance.

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