Due to the simple fact that I’m a moderately uncool, almost middle aged person, I realised I needed to get a little jiggy with my hipster speak.
Sadly, I think jiggy went out in early 2000 when the Fresh Prince got his life ‘turned, flipped upside down’ and started making in-roads as a serious actor.
I thought I’d share a few spectacular Gen Y-isms that everyone should try to absorb into their vernacular, in order to up their cool rank.
Drop this shizzle at the right moment into the right conversation and you too can sound like your finger is somewhere near the pulse, if not actually on it.
‘That dress makes your eyes look amazeballs’
Not sure how it came about, but can you imagine if you were the first person that ever put those two words together?
His friends would have laughed their arses off at him, and then started using it as an in joke…..and then it went viral.
Would the opposite be suckballs? Should be. I love that too.
Can I start a suckballs revolution?
That would be amazeballs.
‘I think he’s a douche bag’ ‘Totes’
I bloody totes love totes. You know why?
Because I’m really important and busy. So busy that using the word totally in it’s entirety is just too time consuming for me.
Using the word totes frees me up more time for Facebooking.
‘I realised my skirt was tucked into the back of my undies. Totes awks.’
One of the biggest things I’m noticing is that we’re just abbreviating the crap outta stuff. That said, I love awks.
Awks is an awkward sounding abbreviation that covers everything from an accidental fart, to putting your foot in it.
I’ve been known to do both. Simultaneously.
‘I’m devo cos I’m heaps povo and I can’t afford to go so my FOMO is going off’
Devastated. I think devastation is such an amazingly powerful word that devo seems like the younger sibling.
If a family member forgets my birthday, I’m devo. If it is because hey has passed away, I’m devastated.
‘He was all up in my grill’
Your grill is your face, or more specifically, your teeth, but for some reason I always thought it was your arse.
Your arse is your trunk.
If you have your grill in someone’s trunk, you’d better hope they’re buying you dinner.
‘I’d love to go see One Direction but I’m, like, povo’
I haven’t used this one, personally, but I can absolutely see the value in it.
Especially if I was, like, totally poverty stricken.
I don’t think we’ll be hearing it in World Vision ads any time soon.
Laughing is so unattractive and passe. Your mouth is wide open, you can see your tonsils, you may even snort or slap your thigh. Lolling is the way forward.
No one ever peed their pants lolling.
8. My bad
‘Shit, dude, my bad’
This one is a lame arse apology.
Instead of saying sorry, and meaning it, like a normal person, this is to be used when you want to sound flippant and like you don’t really give a flying…… now, in my opinion, if you’re in a position where you should be apologising, and you’re all blasé about it, someone is totes within their rights to punch you in the face.
A rack is boobs. How someone came up with that, I’ll never know but I guess it has something to do with the top rack.
I don’t really use rack, as I’m not a boob spotter, but I do use rig for the entire kit.
‘Check out his rig’
10. Shizz or shizzle
These two can have totally different meanings.
You have ‘fo’ shizzle, my nizzle’ means for sure. WTF a nizzle is, I have no damned idea and can not find anything on the net……however, when I googled shizzle I found this, which is way funnier than anything I could ever come up with –
A word most often abused horribly by inexperienced suburban white douche-bags who wish to give themselves some falsified counterfeit form of street-cred.
Pure ghetto gold.
That said, I often also use shizzle for its other meaning. A polite form of shit i.e. I talk a lot of shizzle.
I feel like it’s code so my Nana won’t know I’ve got a mouth like a trucker.
Now I know I have a mouth like a suburban white douche-bag trucker.
My favorite kind.
‘You Only Live Once’
Personally I think anyone who says this is actually probably increasing their chances of being killed in a street fight so by the mere utterance of the wankism they may be contradicting the very sentiment….. by hey, I’m cynical arsehole.
‘Fear Of Missing Out’
GUILTY. If my chronic Facebook over usage is anything to go by, I have this Gen Y affliction in spades.
15. Cray Cray
You’d have to flippin’cray cray to use this crappy one. Crazy. CRAZY!!
How fucking hard is it to say CRAZY? Still two syllables, and one has a Z which everyone knows is the coolest letter in the alphabet after the X.
This makes me feel a tad cray cray. For realsies.