My head

Does your man have this disease?

June 9, 2013
Click image for 8 Steps to Finding a Lost Remote

Click image for 8 Steps to Finding a Lost Remote

There have been recent studies into a very real ailment that is causing much confusion and distress in the male of the human species.

This ailment has caused much anguish and frustration in households across the world as it appears that this epidemic knows no cultural boundaries.

Young or old, black or white, sadly, no one is exempt from this crippling scourge on man-kind. It seems that boys as young as three can be afflicted, and once it has set in, there is no cure.

Most males are fairly oblivious to this disability, so for the most part, they are thankfully, unaware of their impairment, but as the women – the wives and mothers- in their lives we see the steady decline and it affects us very deeply on emotional and physical levels.

I am, of course, referring to the very real issue that is  –

Male Pattern Blindness

This shocking disorder leaves dudes unable to see things right in front of their face, or find things where they left them.

It can be as simple as an inability to see mess, but it can become as debilitating as finding it impossible to find important things.
It is heartbreaking to see males frustratedly searching for keys, wallets and phones, time and again.

Often, the item is within plain site, but this terrible condition causes clouding of vision, and inability to see clearly.

A simple hunt for the remote can leave a man incredibly distressed, and missing items of clothing can cause full blown breakdowns which may include swearing, stomping, hurumphing or general uncool behaviour.
Pantries, refrigerators, and closets are all potential sites for causing an episode and I strongly urge you to be as supportive as you can when your man is searching for items deemed missing.

We, as carers, must endeavour not to take it personally when, caught in the flux of the condition, they may blame us for moving something, for hiding it, or shockingly, tidying something away.

Men and boys are unaware that they have this condition, and to draw attention may only cause them to become frightened, confused or angry, as it’s very difficult for their brains to register the disease.

As a carer you can endeavour to get your males to replace things in a specific location each time, but research indicates that merely leads to frustration of all parties, namely, you.

There is no cure. There is no prevention.

The only thing we can do is support one another.

Call the Association for Support of Male Optical Blindness now –

1800 ASS MOB

You don’t need to suffer alone.

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  • Reply Gary Lum June 9, 2013 at 10:03 am

    I am afflicted. I need support. Do you have an app.

    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys June 9, 2013 at 10:05 am

      Did you look for the app yourself first, before you asked me?
      As I thought.

      • Reply Gary Lum June 9, 2013 at 10:07 am

        That’s why I need support to learn these lessons

  • Reply ksbeth June 9, 2013 at 12:30 pm

    this is hilarious and i especially love the toll free number )

  • Reply Val June 9, 2013 at 12:52 pm

    I think we carers need a support group – this disease has afflicted all the males in my life at the moment and you’re right it does lead to stress, emotional outburst, frustration. Thankfully the female species seems to have a natural ability to know where things are and makes all things better 🙂

  • Reply Kevin June 9, 2013 at 1:48 pm

    I’m incensed by this mass generalisation about men. Now, tell me where my latop is so I can write a complaint!

  • Reply mumabulous June 9, 2013 at 3:05 pm

    I think I’m showing symptoms of this despite being a woman (last time I looked).

  • Reply Carolyn June 10, 2013 at 7:13 pm

    This had Sem and I in stitches!!! Love it!

  • Reply Francesca WritesHere (@FrancescaBlogs) June 10, 2013 at 8:01 pm

    Hilarious, I love it!

    I’ve added this to Francesca’s Festa of Favourites for June:

  • Reply Tegan June 11, 2013 at 8:35 pm

    I am so glad that I now have a name for the condition that has plagued my household since Mr 3 could talk. He asked me where his thongs were the other day…there were on his feet…poor poor boy.

    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys June 11, 2013 at 9:14 pm

      That made me laugh! Don’t tell anyone but I was sitting at the park, chatting to a girlfriend, recently and I couldn’t see D Man out in front of me playing with the other kids… I had a momentary panic.

      He was on my lap!


      Sent from my iPhone

      On 11/06/2013, at 8:35 PM, Keeping Up With The Holsbys

  • Reply mwitasblog June 19, 2013 at 8:10 pm

    Very humorous but so very, very true. A friend of mine lost his only motorbike key and after a whole, hopeless day looking for it he had no option but to send for a mechanic who also had no option than to break apart the bike dashboard so as to set a ‘local’ ignition system; and as he was taking the mech back to town, the guy sees the bike key hanging on the back of my friend’s shirtneck… He had been scratching himself with it and left it hanging there. Far-fetched but true, believe me.

  • Reply ajwhitcomb June 29, 2013 at 5:53 am

    HAHA I loved this. Both men in my house suffer from this. It’s sad I never knew it could strike so young but my 8 year old is worse than his father. Very scary stuff. Is it terminal? Any potentials cures? Love it!

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