I have been known to have left-field taste when it comes to the smellier sex. Beauty is absolutely in the eye of the beholder, but every now and then even the beholder crumples their eyebrows together in a quizzical fashion and thinks –
You know how sometimes you see someone across the room and think they’re as ugly as a hat full of arseholes, and yet when you talk to them you find them strangely desirable?
I can’t believe I find these dudes sexy, in fact, I should really probably keep it a secret. Don’t judge me, for I am just an animal and I can’t control these things.
Have a look at these sexy ugly schmos….
I have no idea what it is. He’s short, he’s chubby and he looks like he smells quite funky, and yet….
He doesn’t take himself seriously and seems very naughty in all the right ways. I reckon a night out with Jack would be raucous and hilarious. He’d take you out for Mexican and karaoke.
And he totally rocks the orange Yo Gabba Gabba suit (if you like that kind of thing).
Heston is a little bit ginger, and a little bit ruddy, a little bit baldy and a little bit awkward.
Heston is also a little bit nerdy.
(Actually, that sounds like I just described my husband!!!)
Mix these elements together and you get someone hot. His experimental nature, his sense of fun and the way he pushes boundaries is super appealing……as is the thought of bacon and egg ice-cream in bed.
I just can’t put my finger on it with this guy. He’s beakier than Gonzo, and appears to be compiled of sharp edges all put together to make a man.
He did something to me in the Pianist and I’ve never gotten over it.
Hugh Fearnley -Wittingstall
I like dudes that can cook. I find a man in the kitchen quite sexy, unless he leaves a mess like Chernobyl. I think everyone would agree that Chernobyl was not sexy.
This scruffy haired host of the River Cottage just seems like a nice guy with a great food philosophy, and he can totally rock a bed of vegetables. One would need to be slightly cautious with said bed, however.
Is that a carrot in your pocket, Hugh?
Emo, moody, kooky and quite odd. Jack White’s a ridiculously talented mo’fo who has some serious sex appeal. If you squint he looks like Johnny Depp’s cousin.
I would encourage him to either have a good night’s sleep or use a touch of concealer as he can bust out some eye bags like he’s done ten rounds with Tyson.
I hated 40 Year Old Virgin. I tried to watch it three times and each time I never got to the end. It sucks. It’s terrible.
Date Night? Appalling.
However, I saw Steve in indie flick Dan in Real Life opposite Juliette Binoche and I found him just lovely. He has lovely eyes, and a good sense of humor. Well, Dan did. I thought he’d be old enough to be my Dad but then I realised that I’m old too, so it’s not true.
How did I get so close to 40? At least I’m not a virgin.
I know, right? He’s a man half in drag….and yet?
Everyone agrees that a great sense of humor is attractive. Someone that can make you laugh is almost always 3/5 of 1/2 the way into your knicks.
In the case of Eddie Izzard, you could also borrow his knickers and probably shoes. I have big feet so this is sexier than you could imagine.
Possibly get some strange looks catching the bus together, but I’m not afraid of a little controversy.
It’s not really about Hugh Laurie. I never found him appealing in Blackadder. So that leads me to conclude that my sexy ugly crush is all about House. Doctor Greg House the bad tempered, Vicadin addicted, wunderkind with the acerbic wit. It’s about the acerbic-ness I think. It appeals to my inner arsehole.