Featured, My head

Behind the red light… My night in a brothel.

October 20, 2013

behind the red light

Often prostitutes, or working girls, are portrayed as either drug addicted run-aways or glamorous high-class call girls. The gritty truth of the sex industry is generally somewhere in between.

When I approached my friendly neighborhood brothel I was fairly sure that I would never set foot in the place. Instead, when I made clear my motives, they welcomed me. In fact, I reckon I could pick up a few shifts if I ever wanted to.

Danielle says she has aged ten years in the last five years, and looking at her now, I see a woman who looks exhausted.
She’s just had a 9-hour shift and been with the same young guy for much of that time.

It’s nice when it’s a long call, because much of the time is spent hanging out, chatting and drinking rather than having back to back sex with clients trying to get bang for their buck.

A 12-hour shift with a lot of clients can take its toll.

For working girls, sore bits are just an occupational hazard, amongst many other health risks. Guys will try to get the girls to do natural French (no condom for oral) or sex. With all due respect to the ladies, what kind of moron would want to have unprotected sex with a prostitute? Obviously, the girls’ sexual health is their biggest concern. Their kit is their moneymaker.

Danielle has a few regulars, one of whom she’s been seeing every couple of weeks for three years.

Do you ever get attached?

Yeah, I do, you can’t help it. Sex is an intimate thing. Some of the guys get crazy about you but it would never go anywhere. It can’t.

 I guess the Pretty Woman idyll does not live here.

sex worker getting ready for work

Danielle is a 39-year-old, single mum of three who lives with her parents and her elderly grandmother.  After a string of bad relationships, when she found herself in a dire financial struggle, that she decided she would try prostitution.

Does it ever get to you?

Mentally, I’m pretty tough. Things just roll off my back. I’ve seen wackos, but they don’t bother me. I don’t like the pedophile guys. Guys come in and want you to act like you’re 12 or 13. I won’t do that. I won’t play under 16. I don’t do lesbian either.

 The girls are never required to do anything they don’t want to. If someone requests something out of the ordinary, like anal, or BDSM, they just opt out if they’re not into it. For the most part, it’s all fairly meat and potatoes.

Danielle’s mother found her out when an embittered ex-boyfriend called and left a message on her machine. Danielle couldn’t lie to her mother, so the cat-house cat was out of the bag. Her mother keeps her secret, and is very supportive, looking after her children while she works, sometimes days at a time without returning home.

The rest of her family believes she works as a receptionist in a hotel.

behind the red light

Danielle and I are lying on a bed, shooting the breeze like two teenagers on a sleepover, except there is a spa bath in the corner of the room and a TV playing porn above our heads. I try not to look at the TV but my eyes kept drawing towards it. It’s weird trying to have a chat with bouncing arses and boobs in your peripheral vision.

Holly is a tiny little slip of a woman. Glittery eye shadow and red lips adorn her face, and she’s wearing a little black dress. Holly lives at the brothel and she warmly invites me into her room that fits barely more than a double bed and a dressing table (and her new up-cycled shoe rack, of which she’s extremely proud).

All the rooms have large mirrors adorning one wall and on Holly’s there are song lyrics emblazoned.

Sunshine. Good times. Moonlight. Boogie.

Shine bright like a diamond.

It seems fairly common to come and go from the industry, but lure seems to bring the ladies back time and time. The girls kept saying the job was addictive. I would have guessed they meant the money, but on closer consideration, the job creates a sense of loneliness and segregation from the real world and conversely, the job also quenches that feeling because behind those walls there are no secrets.

Everyone knows that they are selling sex and there is no subterfuge.

I like the industry, says Holly, I like the atmosphere. I like the activity. Even on my nights off I like to hear the activity. It makes me feel as thought I’m not alone.

Are you lonely? I probed

I’m so lonely.

Usually the girls will stop working when they have a relationship, but Holly is currently madly in love with a man who has no idea what she does for a living.

We’re talking about our future together so to spare his feelings I need to tell a little white lie. It’s not as if I’m cheating on him, because this is work. I’m only acting. I’m effectively an actress.

He believes she’s a live-in nanny and they see each other only on the weekends. I think she realizes it’s more than a white lie, but the fear of his judgment and retribution seems too great a risk. This is a very real fear, for all of the girls, but Holly has already felt the brunt of this when she lost her entire family, including her three children after being discovered.

She no longer has any contact with her children, but she hopes one day they will find her and look beyond the odium attached to her profession and reach out to her once more.

You get to know who you can tell and who you can’t. There’s a stigma attached to the industry. On TV you see streetwalkers, drug addicted streetwalkers. People don’t realize how clean and beautiful the women are in these houses. I’ve worked with nurses and business owners.

I asked Holly if she was happy –

I’m content. It’s what it is. The Universe has given me this job for a reason.

What do you want to be when you grow up?


Holly tells me that it doesn’t take long to become desensitized and tough. That’s how you get through.

Holly began in the industry after falling into a large hole of debt. Holly’s day job as a bed sales girl wasn’t cutting it.

It seemed a natural progression, she laughed, from selling beds, to fucking in them. 

I asked the girls about the money. Obviously amounts vary from girl to girl and brothel to brothel, but an average weekly income, after the house takes it’s split, is about $2500. In theory, they would only need to work a few months at a time and take time off, or save enough to do something big with, but the girls I spoke with all seem to have money issues.

brothel 2

Young Sasha admitted that in the last three months she’s been gambling much of it away. In one sitting she’ll blow her entire night’s wage on a poker machine.

Sasha started working in massage, or Rub and Tug, as it’s known colloquially, when she was only 20. She was on an apprentice wage and wanted extra cash. She said until she started working in the sex industry she had no confidence with men, and hated getting undressed in front of them.

Sasha’s bold and brash sense of humor is worn like a coat of armor. I felt as though she deflected much of her feelings by being coarse or crass, particularly with her clients. In fact, she attributes often getting the client in the first place with her overtly bolshie and sexual approach. She’s outrageous in her approach. Often in the ‘Intro’ (where the client comes in to view the girls before making his choice), she’ll be a clown, albeit a sexual one.

She’ll parody thrusting and masturbating, take the piss out of them. She initially assumed that guys would go for the prettier or the slimmer girls, but the more often she was chosen, the greater her confidence in her sex appeal grew.

In the precursory sexual health check she will inspect a client for obvious lesions whilst making a man stand on one leg.

By the time he realizes I’m taking the piss, the ice is broken and he relaxes. I also hate getting on top. I have no rhythm. None. I’ll tell them I have a knee injury so they have to do the work. I’m the laziest hooker you’ll ever meet.

That made me laugh.

When she went for an intro during our interview she suggested I come in to the room with her if she was picked.

I don’t care. I’d do it. I reckon a guy would be up for it. You wanna?

 I admit I considered it briefly, but I had to draw the line on this story somewhere… besides, I wouldn’t know where to look.

Whilst not hard work, like building the Burma railway or breaking rocks with a pick axe, it is still quite physically grueling in it’s own way. The 12 hour overnight shifts are difficult to stay awake on, and not all clients are created equal.

Some are nice, some are not.

I asked Danielle if they were shown respect by their clients, and she replied that 90% were lovely, normal guys. Now and then someone will want to talk rough or dirty to her –

You’re a slut, they’ll often say….no, I’m not, I’m a whore, Danielle laughed, you’re paying me.

The consensus between the girls is that married guys are the worst. On a recent outcall, one of the girls walked into the lounge in a family home that was strewn with kids’ toys and the walls were plastered with family photos. His wife and kids were away and he got a hooker to come to the house.

Many guys are shown tenderness, especially the broken-hearted ones, or widows, but married men are judged harshly.

Although house rules stipulate that there is to be no drug use on the premises, there is most certainly a little underground scene, with one of my girls admitting she had actually had ice, AKA crystal meth, that afternoon.

I kind of figured that the industry and the drug scene were quite tightly enmeshed so when I spoke to management before the interviews I asked them how they handled it if they saw one of their girls going down, either physically or emotionally.

Oh, we see it. If it seems like they need counseling we help them get it, and if they need to clean up, we help them with that too. We take them to rehab, or support them while they get clean. We’re a family, and we need to look after our own.

I only met three working girls out of thousands across the world. I imagine that motives vary but the main reason is easy money. Although the stories of how my girls came to the industry are vastly different, I feel that the industry has shaped them all similarly. Cynicism and mistrust are rife .They all admit that they have not been treated well by guys in the past, and this profession does not leave them with a trust for the hairier sex.

I got in my car to go home, and I was thankful to be heading to my bed and not staying for an all nighter with the girls. I’m grateful to them for letting me in, just a little bit, to their lives, and I know that each woman I spoke with is just a woman doing her best to get by, regardless of how society may view her.

brothel 3

If you liked this post be sure to like my Facebook page or follow my tweet wit @theholsbys to ensure you can always keep up with the Holsbys.

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  • Reply Mumabulous October 20, 2013 at 7:58 am

    Amazing work Mrs H.

  • Reply Vicki @ Knocked Up & Abroad October 20, 2013 at 8:48 am

    Thanks for the insight. Sooo interesting.

  • Reply bakeplaysmile October 20, 2013 at 9:11 am

    Wow, what an amazing article. Very interesting. It’s hard to know what to think!

  • Reply tric October 20, 2013 at 9:21 am

    we can never judge until we walk in someone else’s shoes. Good post, so sad and yet so “normal”. Well done. Why did you go to talk with them was it for this or something more?

    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys October 20, 2013 at 9:39 am

      It was for something else that didn’t eventuate. I’ll submit it around and see if anyone else wants it!

      Sent from my iPhone


      • Reply tric October 20, 2013 at 9:48 am

        Its good stick with it. That’s my humble opinion anyway!

  • Reply EssentiallyJess October 20, 2013 at 9:53 am

    Loved reading this and getting an insight into this world, though I admit I found Holly’s story heartbreaking. To be in love and yet be so lonely… That’s just devastating. And what happens when the world falls in on her? 🙁

  • Reply Bunny Eats Design October 20, 2013 at 11:46 am

    I wonder how many will fall in love, leave the profession and never look back, keeping their secret locked up?

  • Reply ksbeth October 20, 2013 at 1:31 pm

    this is a wonderful piece, very informative and nonjudgmental. it shows a lot of empathy and understanding for the women and profession so many look askance at. well done –

  • Reply Zanni Louise October 20, 2013 at 8:27 pm

    Wow, what a brave and wonderful post. Thank you for sharing these stories with us. Definitely gives me perspective. x

  • Reply sagescenery October 20, 2013 at 11:21 pm

    This was a wonderful article…on par with the show “Our America.” Very hard-hitting reality!! As a parent, teacher, minister…I’m praying for more for these girls, not judging, just saying…God offers love!!

    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys October 21, 2013 at 6:38 am

      There is a church here called the XXX Church and they offer support and services for sex workers, drug addicts and people in the porn industry, and anyone really who comes outside the ‘norm’ of Christianity. Their motto is Jesus Loves Porn Stars. That’s kinda cool, huh?

      Sent from my iPhone


      • Reply sagescenery October 21, 2013 at 7:23 am

        There’s a big church in Ft. Myers, with a ministry of going into brothels…bringing gift baskets and love…Jesus loves everyone!!!! We just did an outreach with our drama team on Sat., offering free food, clothes…and the love of Jesus…which is also FREE!! To anyone!! Amen!

        Sad to think we should keep it within our walls!! Freely His love was given to us…freely give it away!! God bless you for allowing us to see their humanity!!

  • Reply Sam Stone @ A Life on Venus October 21, 2013 at 8:25 am

    I loved this piece! It was just fantastic.

  • Reply Tara ~ Gluten Free Hart October 21, 2013 at 8:20 pm

    Great post. A little bit of how the other half live huh? Really interesting and a big reality check. Meaning ~ we really need to take a moment and appreciate what we have ~ even the stuff we consider inconsequential. Holly’s story made me feel very sad. I couldn’t
    imagine a life without my children. I really hope that turns around for her.

  • Reply Have a laugh on me October 21, 2013 at 8:43 pm

    Wow what a fantastic read, and I bet it was such an eye opener. I feel sorry for Holly, she’s lost so much 🙁 Please try and get this published somewhere, it’s VERY powerfully D – and as a journo I’d love to have been given this gig, you’ve done them justice. Full credit to you lovely x

    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys October 21, 2013 at 8:44 pm

      I wrote it for a US site but we couldn’t agree on an edit! Where should I start, Em? Any suggestions welcome.

      Sent from my iPhone


      • Reply Have a laugh on me October 21, 2013 at 8:47 pm

        See you almost needed to have told them you were doing the interview so they could make space/room for it – as most papers, well when I worked for the Sun Herald, won’t publish something if it’s been published somewhere else. BUT that’s not to say they won’t. I’m not sure how open-minded the papers are there anymore, but seriously, this is good shit! I would try and get this published in something like Next, Cosmo etc, worth sending it – what have you got to lose???? x

  • Reply larva225 October 22, 2013 at 1:57 am

    What an amazing post! I appreciate when you write stuff like this. I’m always hugely curious but would never ever have the balls to ask these types of questions. I think writing about these folks will help take some of the stigma away.

  • Reply Cornell Green October 22, 2013 at 10:45 am

    I really appreciate this. It’s real live completely viable journalism, though it doesn’t bore the crap out if me. This is what people really want from their magazines–risk, interest, a mental vacation. But most stuff out there is pretty blasé. Do you write for a magazine? Not only do I want a subscription, but I want to work there too. This is the kind of story that made me want to become a journalist.

    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys October 22, 2013 at 11:34 am

      Cornell, thank you! This has to be one of the best comments I’ve ever received! I wrote this for a US website, but we couldn’t agree on a final edit. It was meant to be my break through piece as a writer, rather than a mummy blogger. You made me think that no matter where it is published, I’ve accomplished that.

      • Reply Cornell Green October 22, 2013 at 12:26 pm

        You have. I’m actually in a similar boat. I did a piece on masseuses from my hometown if Erie, Pa, that went unpublished. I’m going to put it on my blog soon. Good writers often get passed over in this twisted up culture ruled by misdirected corporate economy. I really think the blogosphere could be our saving grace. On with the revolution, sir!

  • Reply maxabella October 22, 2013 at 10:50 am

    Gosh! Nicely written, Danielle. Three things to say off the top: I always think its sad when someone says they are madly in love with someone but they still describe themselves as lonely. So sad.

    That pedophile throwaway comment scared me a great deal.

    Adored the lazy hooker faking a bad knee. Such a character.

    I loved this read so much. We women are a remarkable bunch.


    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys October 22, 2013 at 12:37 pm

      I could have written something double the size (in fact, I did!), there was just so much in there. We’re all complex and beautiful creatures.
      Thank god.

  • Reply dad down under October 22, 2013 at 5:08 pm

    Nice to read something completely out of the norm Danielle. I walk past street workers on a daily basis and always offer up a friendly smile and hello, I’m sure it’s not the life they would have chosen for themselves.

    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys October 22, 2013 at 6:57 pm

      I doubt anyone imagined that when they were picking work experience in high school. Pleased you liked it!

      Sent from my iPhone


  • Reply Sonia LifeLoveandHiccups October 25, 2013 at 6:00 pm

    I LOVE this … and by that I mean going out of the norm to discover what life is like for others that live so differently. Well done hun. Great insight and so well written xx

    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys October 25, 2013 at 6:04 pm

      Thanks, babe!
      I plan on a whole human series. I love talking to humans. They’re pretty cool. We’re all so different, yet the same.

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  • Reply mwitasblog January 27, 2014 at 7:58 pm

    An amazing post, Danielle. God bless you. I thank those churches that are taking the gospel and material help to these wonderful women. May the Lord have grace upon them.

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  • Reply dinesh October 11, 2016 at 9:00 pm

    well job

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