The Love Bra.
I thought once the kooky Japanese put school-girl panties (ew, she said panties) into a vending machine I would never hear anything wackier, alas they have out-done themselves with a chastity bra that only undoes when the wearer is in love.
Not crushing on, not wanting to get it on… true love.
The bra uses ‘an inbuilt heart monitor and works with a smart phone app that calculates the True Love Rate’.
I knew it was a matter of time before our smart phones could predict our emotions. If they were really smart they’d make the ‘Stop speaking to me this second as I’m about to lose my shit’ app that gently zaps people (read: spouse and spawn) when it’s time to take a step back, but we’re speaking of nicer things today.
We’re speaking of boobs and love.
I cannot honestly boast the ta-ta pride I once had, but I am, hypothetically speaking of course, not above wanting to get my norks out from time to time.
It’s nice to have the option at least.
Also, what if your love is of the unrequited kind and whilst making a cup of tea in the work tearoom your lady lumps are suddenly unleashed when the object of your affection asks you to pass the Assorted Creams???
Awks, man. Awks.
Although had I been wearing such a brassiere contraption at the pool last Thursday it may have prevented the undignified Nipplegate incident as Kiki hoisted aside my bikini top mid-class.
I know not how long it took me to notice my alert nip waving hello to the nice people enjoying their kiddie swim school, but I’m going to tell myself it was seconds, not minutes.
This recipe has not much to do with peaches although someone once referred to my bosoms as lovely ripe mangoes. If they could see them now they’d no doubt say over ripe peaches.
Poaching peaches is a great way to hang on to the summer fruits for a little bit longer at the end of the season…. you can also freeze them and throw them into things as you need them.
- 1 kg ripe peaches
- 1 vanilla pod, seeds scraped out, or 1 teaspoon vanilla paste
- 5 star anise
- 1 cinnamon stick
- 3 tablespoons raw sugar
What you will need to do :
Place your peaches into a big heavy based saucepan and cover with water.
Add your spices, sugar and vanilla and cover with a plate or pie dish to ensure the peaches all stay submerged.
When they’re ready remove the peaches from the water and run under cold water for a few minutes. Set aside until cool enough to peel.
Turn up the temperature on the spiced water and boil the crap out of it for a further 20-25 minutes until it has reduced a little and become very fragrant and yummy.
The skin should just slide off the peaches, and then you can halves them and store them in the poaching liquid in the fridge for up to a week.
Saw this meme and thought it was apt… screw anyone who doesn’t like juicy peaches.
Cook Once, Feed All is about making your life easier whilst preparing nutritious and quick food for your family. Hailed by Mouths of Mums as the ‘must have recipe book for all families’, this book is a collection of family friendly recipes, all accompanied by stories from my life.
To order your hardcopy of Cook Once, Feed All head to the Holsby Shop right now.