My head

A letter to me on my 38th birthday

July 7, 2014

me on my 38th birthdayDearest You,

I know you wanted to cancel your birthday this year, but there are some things that you just can’t finagle no matter how much of  control freak you are.

Time is marching, no?

Firstly, I want to take your mind back to your birthday last year. I think this last 365 days have potentially been the biggest, craziest, most momentous of your entire life. You’ve had amazing, life altering moments in previous years, but when you look at this whole year, no wonder you’re feeling raw.

Your highs have been stratospheric and your lows have been deep and dark and sometimes they’ve happened simultaneously leaving you wondering if you’re going crazy, but you’re not. You’re just experiencing life with all of your marrow and you know what?

It may always be this crazy, or it may chill out, but you’ve got this.

You’ve always said that you’re only given as much as you can handle. I have no idea if it’s bullshit, but it’s certainly something to remember as your little legs are paddling like crazy under water and you’re all calm on the surface.

Just don’t stop paddling, dude. You’ll be fine if you just keep paddling.

Your life looks so vastly different from a year ago and that’s ok. Ok?

Your life also looks pretty different to how you imagined it would. And that’s ok too.

In reality no one’s life really looks like they imagined it would, maybe it’s better, maybe it’s worse, but it’s definitely different, because we don’t have crystal balls and we can’t predict how things are going to turn out.

the holsbysI want to tell you something really important so I need you to really listen carefully to me when I say, relationships end all of the time.

It’s sad, and it’s difficult, but it is not a failure on anyones behalf. Lord knows, you tried to make it work. There is no point looking back and bombarding your brain with ‘what if’ scenarios because the only thing to do is move forward, and you have plenty to look forward to, my girl.

You need to take stock and look at everything you have achieved in the last 6 months and really start to believe in yourself. You are creating the life you want to live…. not you can, not you might –


So, stop comparing yourself to others, just worry about what you’re doing and focus on what you want. Your energy is spent much better that way.

Stop caring what people think about you. It’s none of your business what they think. You’re putting yourself out there, so they’re going to form opinions of you, that’s the nature of what you do, but just remember that the real you, the whole you, is much more than this brand and you know who you are. Don’t forget who you are.

And you’re alright. You have a few more laugh lines, and a few more grey hairs, a few more internal scars but all in all, you’re alright.

You have a phenomenal network of people who love you. Don’t be afraid to reach out to them. People like to help. People like to feel useful and needed, allow them that gift, whilst receiving yourself.

Anyway, I want you to know that I love you. I’m sometimes unkind to you, but I’m going to try to be more patient and caring with you because I forget that you’re just doing the best you can.

Have a really wonderful birthday, lady. May this year shine sunny rays on you and yours and may all of your dreams become realities in the palm of your hand.

All my love,

Danielle xxx

holsby 38th birthday


Photos by the awesome Kirsten Cox. Check out her other work here. 


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  • Reply Bunny Eats Design July 7, 2014 at 8:39 am

    Hey sweets! You are amazing. You know it.

    Love the colours, I seem to be obsessed with yellow and blue too.

  • Reply San July 7, 2014 at 12:53 pm

    Dear you,
    Hippo birdy two ewes
    hippo birday two ewes
    hippo birdy darling you
    hippo birdy two ewes!!!!!
    No, this is NOT a recipe for food, but it IS one for every possible happiness today and always. Snogs, (naturally)

    • Reply San July 8, 2014 at 2:47 pm

      Further to my last comment, you’ll know you’re getting on a bit when you sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there!!! :o)

  • Reply ksbeth July 7, 2014 at 2:46 pm

    what a wonderful gift to yourself. happy birthday and here’s to many more ) beth

  • Reply claireyhewitt01 July 7, 2014 at 10:42 pm

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY. We share a birthday week, and yep, we all have deep lows and highs all at the same time.

  • Reply Nina July 8, 2014 at 3:17 am

    Happy birthday, friend. Wishing you a good day and many more 🙂

  • Reply Vicki @ Knocked Up and Abroad July 8, 2014 at 9:36 am

    What perfect words of encouragement to yourself. I hope in the year ahead you’re able to shake off some of the hardships foregone and branch into a more comfortable, happy you! Happy Birthday xx PS – Gorgeous fam bam shots!

    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys July 8, 2014 at 9:02 pm

      Thanks babes, you know we’ll be sharing a bevy really soon?? That’ll be grand x
      Actually, not sharing, I don’t think wither would be up for that….. but you know what I mean.

  • Reply Have A Laugh On Me July 8, 2014 at 12:47 pm

    One of the sweetest letters I’ve ever read lovely. You are right, relationships ending doesn’t mean our lives have to, we just start new chapters. You’ve got this lovely xxx

  • Reply Sam Stone @ A Life on Venus July 14, 2014 at 11:45 am

    Happy Birthday Dani xox We are the same age, I turn 38 in November. I too have had some massive emotional shifts this year. It is important to not compare ourselves to others. xoxox

    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys July 14, 2014 at 11:47 am

      Enjoy being younger than me for 4 months!!
      Thanks for the birthday wishes. May 38 be flippin’ amazeballs for us both x

  • Reply A letter to me on my 39th birthday September 9, 2015 at 8:10 am

    […] just reread my old letters to you over the last few birthdays and I always say the same thing to you – be kind to […]

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