My head

How I became a podium dancing alcoholic.

August 17, 2014
So sweet and innocent. Me at 2. Before clubbing.

So sweet and innocent. Me at 3. Before podium dancing in clubs.

My Dad is in Australia at the moment to do some traveling.

Some months ago he bought a Winnebago that he fondly named Wind Bag and periodically he skips across the ditch and takes off on a road adventure. He’s cool like that.

He stopped a couple of nights at mine on his way to pick up the Wind Bag and told me of his plan to drive from Melbourne through South Australia and up to Alice Springs before heading to Ayers Rock and the Olgas by the end of September. My green eyed monster’s eyes shone like emeralds…. that was one cool mo’fo’ road trip.

I sure would like to do that some time.

… But I have two kids and important routines that must be adhered to or my neurotic sky will fall down. I’m positively tied to all of my responsibilities so I could never to do something so crazy, could I?

The more spiced rum and lime juice we had to drink the more plausible it seemed.

There’s enough sleeping room for everyone. The kids can play outside if the space gets too cramped and there’s a tv for evenings. But the sleeping routine? I don’t know about you but I’m a stickler for it.

Dinner is 5.30

Bath is 6pm.

TV for half an hour at 6.30

Teeth and bed is 7pm

Reading a few books until 7.30 unless I speed read to get the hell out of there because I’ve had enough of them for the day.

I’m flexi within 10 or so minutes of this routine but then I start to get twitchy.

What would happen to this routine if we went on the road, all four of us sharing a living space smaller than my lounge?


Nah, too hard. My control freak couldn’t be bothered.

I asked Mister H if he could take a week off work so I could go on a road trip with my Dad. As amicable as Mister H and I may be I’m well aware that there will not be a lot of weeks in the year during which I can take off sans bambinos, so when Mister H told me to let him know how serious I was and he’d make arrangements I got to thinking if this was my only time off all year is a road trip with my Dad the prime way to spend it?

No offence Dad.

What if I want to go to Bali or Thailand with a friend? Or a lover, heaven forbid (I’ll get laid eventually, right??).

Kids will suck hard on that trip….

What if I want to go on a volunteer trip to a third world country, or trekking up some really ridiculously big hills?

Kids will suck hard on those trips too.

Screw it, I decided. I would go on this cool mo’fo road trip adventure will my Dad, and I will take the kids.

I can relax my regime, the sky will not fall. In fact, it will be good for us all (except maybe Dad whose serenity will be completely screwed, but he’s a good sport.)

I remember a photograph of myself as a child sitting at a table in a restaurant at night on a trip we had to the Canary Islands. I would have been about 3.

I think I was eating a bowl of eating ice-cream and strewn around the table were wine glasses and my Mum was in the picture too but barely. She was at the head of the table which was fading off into black.

During a phone conversation with Mama about the potential trip I mentioned the photo. I mentioned how she used to take us away on jaunty adventures where all of the routines were broken and it was fine, wasn’t it?

Wasn’t it?

And she said, “Darling, after dinner we’d take you into the nightclub and you’d dance with us on the dance floor.”

She back-pedalled saying they didn’t stay out until 2am, and nightclubs there weren’t filled with Class A drugs in those days, but the go-go dancer was out of the cage.

That. Explains. Everything.

How it all began. Note my wine glass and food all over my face.  *not the actual photo I'm referring to in post

How it all began. Note my wine glass and food all over my face.
*not the actual photo I’m referring to in post


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  • Reply Nicole August 17, 2014 at 10:03 am

    For some reason, maybe lack of time, I haven’t read your blog for ages. Until this morning. I just wanted to say I’m sorry to hear your marriage has broken up and I hope you’re Ok.

    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys August 17, 2014 at 11:02 am

      Hi Nicole, welcome back. Time is a bitch for all of us! Thank you for your warm words. They mean a lot to me. Xxx

  • Reply coloursofsunset August 17, 2014 at 10:51 am

    Yeah best keep that week without kids up your sleeve for a really fabulous trip. But absolutely do the trip with your dad and kids. Who knows how many more opportunities there will be todo that. Routine schmoutine. Throw caution to th wind!

  • Reply Nina August 17, 2014 at 10:56 am

    What a brilliant trip it will be, full of lifelong memories.
    Good on you for deciding to go!

  • Reply Bunny Eats Design August 17, 2014 at 5:36 pm

    This will be a trip to remember. 3 generations in a Wing Bag is something to be cherished. Take plenty of photos, hell, give D Man a camera even?

    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys August 17, 2014 at 9:17 pm

      I’ve been thinking lately I might give him my old camera. He loves to take pics on my phone….good thinking, homes x

      • Reply Bunny Eats Design August 18, 2014 at 8:31 am

        Oh yes, I adored my first camera. My parents didn’t, film is expensive!

  • Reply Have A Laugh On Me August 17, 2014 at 9:13 pm

    Yeah do the roadie with your dad, having kids that aren’t strict on routine is a good thing as they grow, TRUST ME! xx

    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys August 17, 2014 at 9:19 pm

      Really? How so?? You vote for more flexibility? This will be a cracking good start in me chilling the routine.

      • Reply Have A Laugh On Me August 17, 2014 at 9:26 pm

        I’m strict on school nights eg dinner bath and bed… But it makes them a bit more adaptable and resilient to change when things aren’t always the same…

  • Reply Glen August 18, 2014 at 2:24 pm

    Fantastic idea, don’t over think it Girlfriend. Why worry over things that may never happen?My fondest memories of my childhood are of my parents taking us everywhere. I was chronically shy and it gave me confidence. Isn’t our journey all about experiences? Go for it!! Seize the day!!

    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys August 18, 2014 at 4:37 pm

      You hit the nail on the head… As usual.
      Chronic over thinker. Need to kill more brain cells 😉

  • Reply San August 18, 2014 at 3:19 pm

    It’ll be an ab fab time had by all. Can we look forward to a rousing chorus of “C’mon get happy” a la The Partridge Family???? Have a blessed time guys….

    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys August 18, 2014 at 4:36 pm

      Definitely, I bought the kids tambourines and harmonicas. It’s going to be awesome!
      If you hear of any support gigs going….

      • Reply San August 21, 2014 at 5:00 pm

        Should I mention it to Mick and the boys; they’re still touring! I have a wind instrument you can borrow :o)

  • Reply larva225 August 19, 2014 at 12:24 am

    Pleeeeeease follow up on this one. I’ve got the opportunity to go as a chaperone on a senior class trip to Cancun next May, but like you, my control freak is having palpitations just thinking about it. I’m pretty sure everyone would survive, but would it be worth the fall-out and jacked-up-ness when I returned?

  • Reply Gone Fishing | Keeping Up With The Holsbys September 24, 2014 at 7:30 am

    […] how I was umming and ahhing about sucking off into the funset for a little jaunt with Grandpapa and his […]

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