Health and Wellbeing, My head

Information is beautiful, until paralysis

September 14, 2014

information is beautiful, until paralysisI don’t know about you but I’m finding a little information overload at the moment.

It’s as if there is so much information available to help me succeed in anything I want to do that it’s like the entire interwebs is beaming down celestial beams to help me become all that I can be.

I do want to be all that, but it’s a little exhausting at times.

We’re all trying to have time to do everything we need so, as much as I see the benefit of hacking life, I reckon mere survival should also be high fived.

We’re surrounded by –

Ways to be a better parent.

How to fit it all in.

How to organise your pantry.

Take a better selfie.

Housecleaning life hacks.

Be a better lover.

Be a better friend.

Have shinier hair.

How to be incredibly happy.

Obviously, I do not desire to let myself, my children, my pantry or my hair down but holy snapping duck shit, but my head starts to spin like Linda Blair without the zombie eyes and pea soup.

I don’t know where to start with getting my life in order, and according to the internet oracle I’m obviously doing everything wrong, so I’m getting the PARALYSIS. It starts in one leg like a dog with a tick and before you know it you’ve drunk a whole bottle of wine and decided to just leave world domination until tomorrow.

Do we really need to be ALL THAT WE CAN BE?

What if I just BE?

Slow down? Breathe a little?

You know when you’re sitting on the loo trying to do a poo and you push and push and all that happens is a fart at best or a fissure at worst?

Forgive the poop analogy but sometimes no matter how much you strain that shit ain’t happening so you just need to wait it out and not force it.

I read a post by Kelly Exeter yesterday about making life simpler that used the term ‘cherry picking’.

I am so guilty of that.

Looking at people’s fabulousness on social media and wishing I was living their fabulousness.

Their perfect husbands, hanging terrariums with plants that are alive, shiny well behaved children with clean faces. Their amazing shoes and handbags that match, and hair that never looks greasy. No adult acne. None.

No one puts the really shit bits on social media. Their partners skid marks, their infected ingrown hair on their bikini line, but you can guarantee everyone has THE SHIT.

And then I had the most hilarious thought.

I thought that if I’m in here looking at all of you thinking your lives look so interesting and cool and soooo together, then maybe someone out there is looking at my life thinking that my life looks so interesting and cool and I’m sooooo together.

And I laughed, and then I laughed some more.

information,

I had some girlfriends over for dinner on Friday night, and one of my girlfriends is going through a terribly difficult time in her marriage. And she said it….

She said the very words I had been laughing about.

“I see you and everything you do and I think you’ve just got it all so sorted, and you’re so together. You’re juggling everything and doing it on your own and you’re ok.” (paraphrasing, I was a bit squiffy)

I looked her in the eye and her told her that I spent a small portion of yesterday afternoon lying on the floor in my daughter’s room having a little panic attack and crying, hoping the children weren’t distracted enough from Jimmy Giggle to look for me and bust me on the floor, and I’d have to pretend I’d lost a shoe under the bed and got dust in my eye.

I don’t know where I’m going with this…..maybe I do.

Maybe it’s don’t be fooled.

Everyone is dazzling each other with smoke and mirrors, and if their pantry is jealously spotless maybe there is a skeleton in a closet that you would never wish for. Just cherry pick your own life. Look at those bits you love and highlight them and turn down the volume on the crappy bits.

Just breath. And instead of trying to be everything…

Just be.

At least for this week.

World domination can wait until next week.

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22 Comments

  • Reply Kim September 14, 2014 at 7:45 am

    YES. Life is too friggin BIG sometimes. I scaled back earlier this year. Well- on the digital front anyway. I’m just breathing. You are awesome even if you don’t do it all. You made a fabulous book. You made beautiful kids. Sit on that for a bit. There’s no race.
    For me, as the breathing gets easier, the rest is starting to flow better, without the worry and anxiety about whether I’m getting it just right. Fuck my house. Fuck my pile of washing. And check out this site- always a good laugh: fuckyournoguchicoffeetable.tumblr.com/
    Full of terrariums. Xxx

  • Reply Anita September 14, 2014 at 8:03 am

    Yes indeed I read ur blog and think what a perfect family and life you have. It’s inspiring tho, it doesn’t make me feel less adequate like some blogs/posts. I have spurts of organisation that I can’t maintain cos i value myself and my quiet time and some days I waste a hell of a lot of
    Time doing nothing constructive. I spoke to a friend last week who also appears to have it all, about the shamozzle of a predicament she’s in and I must admit it does make me feel better to hear that other people have shit too! (Obviously I’m sad and sympathetic for her situation or I’d be a terrible friend). I think I’ve naturally drawn in a few honest close friends who share the good and the bad in their lives and it gives me balance. Sometimes I walk away from a coffee date thinking I need to clean the pantry and sometimes I walk away and just hugs my not so perfect kids because I have them. I don’t mind day dreaming about other peoples apparently perfect lives 🙂

  • Reply mumabulous September 14, 2014 at 8:42 am

    The Mumabs promises to immediately stop making people feel inferior on social media! It’ll be hard but I’m a woman of my word 😉

    • Reply Glen September 14, 2014 at 9:42 am

      You are so fabulous, you remind us of our hilarious unrealistic expectations of ourselves. We are only human, not machines. What you are describing is being overwhelmed. My mantra when this feeling of being swamped rears it’s ugly head, which is often, finish one thing you started, no matter how small, one room, one project, whatever. Be happy with that. Be gentle with your self, it’s not a test, no one is looming over you with a big red pen judging your performance. Who gives a shit what they think? It took me over half my life to curb the obsession to please other people, half of whom I didn’t even like!!We all want to be accepted I guess…….San encourages me to watch Naked Gun 3½ or Flying High, in minutes I’m laughing so hard I can’t breathe……endorphins Girlfriend!! There is no such thing as a perfect life, just peaks and troughs and how you decide to tackle it I reckon!!

    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys September 15, 2014 at 9:38 am

      The least you could do, dear lady x Although more crumpet eye candy never goes astray.

  • Reply Kim-Marie from Kimba Likes September 14, 2014 at 9:17 am

    Some days I come home in the mornings and sit on the sofa. For an hour. Then two. Maybe more. I look at the washing that needs to be folded. The dishes that need to be done. The packaging from the post that needs to be put in the recycling bin. The recycling that needs to be taken to the bin. The emails that need to be responded to. The photographs that need editing. The chipped polish that is just too much work to redo because then I’d have to sit still for an hour and I’m too busy. The room setup that would work so much better if this piece was there and a power point was there. And I sit for a while longer.

    My nails are still chipped by the way.

    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys September 15, 2014 at 9:37 am

      I have a problem with down time. Always have. I’m a shithouse relaxer. Thinking I may need to take up meditation.
      PS I have the same nails I had at PB. They really need to come off.

  • Reply Champagne Gillian September 14, 2014 at 10:35 am

    You’ve hit the nail on the head here D. Brilliantly articulated. You’re so fantastic, I love your truth. I really feel that way about social media, some days it’s just too much information for me, I physically cannot look at all the words and pictures, I already have too much in my brain. In terms of other people seeming to have it all tougher, what’s interesting is that in some ways I don’t think it is different to any other era, when we were kids our mums were dealing with the rich ladies swanning around in their expensive cars and fur coats and gold fob chains and their designer clad children, who hosted the most glamorous dinner parties and had the handsomest husbands. And other people felt insecure in their shining presence and not good enough and wanted their lives. And then it turned out these ladies were really angry and were on valium and drank gin for brekky. And their husbands ran off with the pool boy. Maybe it’s just human nature to compare ourselves to others and feel like we aren’t all that, or something. I guess today it’s more in our faces with social media. We all need to commit to turning our computers and phones off occasionally and be 100% in the moment with our awesome selves, away from all that shit, don’t you reckon! We all should just sit down and pick our hobbit toenails for ten minutes. And we need to remember, as my mum says ‘you never know what goes on behind closed doors’….

    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys September 15, 2014 at 9:35 am

      I gave up picking my toenails because I was chronic but I have plenty of other good picking habits that I could while away 10 minutes doing. I think you’re right. It’s human nature to compare.Social media just gives us steroids.

  • Reply Kelly Exeter (@kellyexeter) September 14, 2014 at 10:37 am

    It’s never nice to get a reality check but a couple of years ago I found myself coveting a friend’s skinnyness … and then I found out the reason she was skinny was stress from her relationship breaking down. And I’ve had countless situations since where I found myself a little jealous of someone (from seeing something on social media) only to find out about big struggles elsewhere in their life. It’s hard to imagine we’re all fighting our own battles when we tend to only put the good stuff out there … but if I’ve learned anything from life, it’s that everything comes with a tradeoff … and I’m yet to come across a perfect life.

  • Reply Cass September 14, 2014 at 11:12 am

    Oh man, I feel the same way! Info overload for sure. I’m hankering for some minimalism – in house, in spirit, in commitments and in mind!
    Except I’d like to commit to having a drink with you sometime so we can talk about how much SHIT we have got going on (apparently the reason we haven’t had a drink yet!)

    • Reply Keeping Up With The Holsbys September 15, 2014 at 9:33 am

      Oh man, the best way to catch up is through my comments page? That’s a shocker.Should we make another date? x

  • Reply San September 14, 2014 at 3:16 pm

    I’ve stopped worrying about who’s gunna’ pluck my chin hairs when I don’t give a shit anymore… that’s progress isn’t it??? I’ve also stopped agonizing about leaving my mark on the world, fuck it, it’ll probably be a skid mark anyway :o(

  • Reply Sam Stone (@A Life on Venus) September 15, 2014 at 2:07 pm

    I love that – Just be!

  • Reply Sonia from Sonia Styling September 17, 2014 at 1:58 pm

    Hell to the YES, sister! You are speaking directly to me this week. I’m trying not to put any pressure on myself to rule the world – I’d just like to have clean clothes to wear and eat some veggies. The rest can wait till next week. I’m just breathing here alongside you. x

  • Reply Nicole - Seeking Victory September 17, 2014 at 10:05 pm

    Frickin’ great. That’s all I’ve got, it’s late and I’ve been lusting over the lives of others for hours

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