Holsby TV, My head, Photography, Uncategorized

Road Trip to Central Australia, plus The Road Movie.

October 10, 2014

**Brought to you in conjunction with Kidspot Voices 2014 and Healtheries**

Want to know how we Holsbys rolled on our road trip to Central Australia? In style. I never wore the ugliest hat in the world.

We flew into Alice Springs and getting off the plane from Sydney with our end-of-winter woolies was quite the shock. Partly because of the heat that smacked you in the face like a footballer’s sock, but also because it’s like landing on another planet. It runs on an alternate time, and it’s acceptable to wear an entire outfit of khaki.

After a trip to the local supermarket (and boozeria) to stock The Windbag, we hit the road and headed out into the vast nothingness that is the Australian desert. You can be forgiven for thinking that Uluru is a stone’s throw from the Alice Springs pub, alas it is 467.8kms down the Lasseter Highway (presumably named after the pub in Neighbours.)

Holsby road trip to central australia

The Windbag, our trusty steed.

A 5-hour road trip with your homies when you’re 21 is a thing of joy, but in 38 degree heat with a four-year-old and two-year-old as companions it’s a loooooooong way. My one piece of advice to anyone thinking of this type of journey is –

Holsby road trip to central australia SNACKS. Lots of them.

Road trip snacks mean different things to different families but I’m not one to give my kids much junk so I needed the same effect (SHUT THEM UP  KEEP THEM OCCUPIED) but with healthier options.

I like to make little snack packs as when they have lots of little bits in their goodie bags it gives them something to do, which means I have nothing to do – which means WINNING.

Holsby road trip to central australia

I gotta say the trick up my sleeve was the Healtheries Rice Wheels. The kids are crazy about them, and to be completely honest, I think they’re pretty good with beer (don’t mention it to the Rice Wheel guys because I don’t think that’s what they had in mind.)

We did a few tremendous hikes.

road trip central australia

After the first epic 10.6km hike with the pram, Father Dear and I decided we would do shorter walks and I would be Kiki’s pack-horse and D Man would walk as much as possible before going on Grandpapa’s back in a carrier.

I could use those Rice Wheels as bribery to get D Man all the way home thereby saving Grandpapa’s only working lung from wheezing its way back to the bus.


Holsby road trip to central australia

Dad mentioned gratefully that with us aboard the Windbag his camp dining had stepped it up a notch.

He went from steak, sautéed potatoes and salad every day with pasta on sundays to Gourmet Glamp Club… I shan’t go into it too much because what happens in Glamp Club stays in Glamp Club but suffice to say that just because I haven’t had a shower in days, I have desert crusting my nostrils and an inch of dirt in my bed does not mean I do not eat like a royal.

For all of the wondrous things that happened in the desert, I also had my worst ever parenting experience. I’ll share it with you, but please don’t judge me.

Holsby road trip to central australia

We were all sharing a shower cubicle (the kids and I, not Dad too, you creeps), and with three of us splashing things get a little slippy. My little Kiki got jolted sideways and landed with a mighty cheek crack on the tiles; her face instantly going shades of red and blue, her mouth wide in a silent scream until the air flooded her lungs and let fly with her pain.

I grabbed her to my naked breast knowing it was a bad one, and then D Man started to keen.

We were all stark naked, and the noise was bouncing off the tiles, rattling my teeth.

I tried to quickly get D Man dressed but he started fussing over putting on his shorts. His undies fell into the puddle so I cast them aside and forced him into his shorts. I quickly zipped the fly…..

Penis + zip = VERY VERY BAD

Two screaming, half-naked children.

One starkers mother.

I unzipped him, threw half an outfit on myself, put a howling child on each hip and went as quickly as I could, shoeless through the forrest of epic bindies back to the bus.

That night the children ate fish and chips, and a Vanilla Drumstick washed down with lemonade. Sometimes, you just gotta break all of your rules.

They were happy as Larry, but I felt like the worst mother in the world.

My road movie on the other hand, is cool as… Check it out.

PS All injuries sustained have healed beautifully.


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  • Reply Bigwords October 10, 2014 at 7:56 am

    Isn’t the rock stunning. Love it there. Oh and yes my kids love those rice wheels too. Great lunchbox filler x

  • Reply Kimba Likes October 10, 2014 at 8:10 am

    I love love love this! I’m actually now considering saying yes to this holiday that the Welshman has been planning for years!

    Oh and I live on Rice Wheels! X

  • Reply Raychael aka Mystery Case October 10, 2014 at 9:06 am

    I’m envious….. of the road trip not of the injuries sustained. 🙂

  • Reply Aleney @ BoyEatsWorld October 10, 2014 at 9:48 am

    That video makes me want to chuck a couple of packets of Rice Wheels in a back pack , shove the kids in the car and zoom off to Uluru. x

  • Reply Sonia from Sonia Styling October 10, 2014 at 1:36 pm

    Oh man, you crack me up! But for some reason, all of a sudden, I’ve got a hankering for a beer and some Rice Wheels…

  • Reply Carolyn @ Champagne Cartel October 10, 2014 at 2:31 pm

    Oh man, lady, you tell a good yarn! I really feel for all of you in that shower scene – and that video is so beautiful. Love the soundtrack too.

    Oh, and totally agree re Rice Wheels and beer. I buy them for school lunch treats but they seldom make it out the door.

  • Reply Champagne Gillian October 10, 2014 at 5:00 pm

    Great movie. Seriously fantastic movie, I felt like I was there!!!!! But the shower stormy URGH!!!!!! Something similar but quite as epic JUST happened to me, I’m trying to knead pizza dough with Miles and the baby next to me “helping”, both crowded on a stool. Of course the baby slips and slides down two steps missing his jaw by a centimetre or two….. hideous scary.

  • Reply Zanni Louise October 11, 2014 at 10:16 pm

    Love that movie. Stunning. What a gorgeous part of the world. I will never forget my trip there. x

  • Reply Mandy, Barbie Bieber and Beyond October 15, 2014 at 6:03 pm

    We did that recently too. Hired an RV and toured through central and coastal Queensland, we had a great time!!! Would love to take the kids to Uluru…on the bucket list…

  • Reply San October 16, 2014 at 2:47 pm

    Great to have you back online Girlfriend. Seriously honked with laughter at the funny bits and winced where appropriate. ADORED the movie, found myself humming “travel all over the countryside, ask the Leylands, ask the Leylands , travel all over the countryside, ask the Leyland Brothers!” So wrapt you had such a good time and you made home safe and sound albiet crusty and dusty. XO

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