I’ve been scrutinising how awesome people are and then comparing myself to them.
Comparing yourself to others is dumb, I know that. My mum taught me that when I was about, I don’t know, little and stinky.
I’m not talking about comparing myself to bouncy girls that bound on their toes like dik-diks, pony-tails waving from side to side, impossibly flat tummies winking their belly buttons as the pass me on my morning run, although I have been known to wish I was slightly more elegant in my gait.
I’m talking about achievements.
I’m checking out people’s achievements; Even little goals they’ve kicked and I’m comparing myself to them.
In many ways I’m trying to learn from my peers at the moment, see how everyone else is doing this life business, this working business and asking for tips and tricks along the way to get to where I want to go and achieve my goals, but I’m noticing something a little less spectacular is happening.
I criticise what I am doing wrong, instead of patting myself on the back for all the great stuff I’m doing. I focus on the shit bits…..
You know that thing where you look in the mirror and instead of seeing your strong shoulders, shapely calf muscles, or that sweet birthmark on your butt that looks like a drunken map of Australia, you see that tummy skin that will never be flat again, bat winged arms or the way your nipples no longer salute to the sun.
It’s like we’re wearing blinkers that shield us from our good stuff and highlight our shit bits.
Why do we do that? It can’t just be me surely?
It’s really silly to compare ourselves, not because we are awesomely unique, and not because it shouldn’t matter, although these are essentially true…..
The reason it is silly to compare ourselves is that we never measure up.
AND THAT IS JUST PLAIN DUMB.
If we could draw comparisons and put them on a massive life scale and say ‘ok, they’re doing XYZ brilliantly’ on one side of the scale and then balance out your side with something you do brilliantly, and ensure the status quo remains even keeled it wouldn’t be so dumb.
But we don’t. We just pile their scale up with shining brilliance and leave ours dangling in the air.
Empty except for maybe a tumbleweed and a dead cockroach.
Some days I think just getting to the end of the day without standing on the parapet with a semi-automatic is an achievement but then I see others scaling mountains in record time and the my not-losing-my-mind seems not as impressive.
Comparing oneself is human nature.
From the second we meet someone we compare ourselves. We can’t help it. We are programmed to sub-conciously work out basic comparisons to see how this other person measures up and fits.
Are they of higher or lower status, do they have more or less money, are they more physically appealing than I? We don’t even know we’re doing it but this is the stuff first impressions are made of. But I’m not really talking about that stuff. I’m talking about the stuff that’s way more important.
The simple fact is, there are always going to be people better than us at stuff. We need to embrace them and love them for they are paving the way for us. Learning from people with more experience and success is a much better way to learn than reading a text book.
So today I just wanted to say to us/me/you –
Don’t compare yourself, dufus. You are wonderful you.
Every single person is running their own race and every race has different obstacles.
On your marks.
Is it just me or do you do this too?
Should we quit it?
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