Becoming a single mother is one of the most stressful things a woman will ever go through.
Things to consider are children’s wellbeing, work and finances, juggling your ex and their feelings, visitation rights, and general sadness, turmoil and upheaval that is fairly difficult to endure at times.
Another thing a single mothers need to consider is if they would like to get back on the horse. There is no right time for her to do this, it’s a very personal thing, but dating as a single mother, or a MILF as American Pie coined, is not a simple equation.
-mothers, whether married, separated or divorced, that a male individual sees as physically attractive enough to want to have sexual intercourse with them. Just cuz their moms doesn’t mean that they don’t need a spark in their love life. MILFs are usually real careful about birth control, they know accidents happen but they take responsible steps. A MILF is any mother that is sexually desirable.
Thank you, Urban Dictionary. We edited out the bit about erectile nipple tissue and Kegels.
A MILF looks like an unencumbered, single woman, and on a date she may even act like an unencumbered single woman, but there is much more to her than meets the eye. The thing to remember is that a MILF is not like the normal single woman, and there are certain nuances to dating a single mother that one must take into consideration before one embarks on what can ultimately be a beautifully rewarding experience.
We have put together a simple users guide to dating a single mother for the uninitiated to help you navigate the jungle that is Single Mother Dating.
1. Do not set the date too late
MILFS by their nature are tired. Chances are she hasn’t had a good nights sleep in years. She’s been up 10 times the night prior, and she’s run around all day. If want the best out of your MILF don’t be setting a date time after 8pm.
Realistically, she’ll probably need to put the kids to bed before she can venture out but you need to set that date time as early as you can or she’ll be yawning over entree and snoring into her dessert. Forget a goodnight pash.
2. Pace your MILF
She’ll probably be a mixture of nervous and excited and this can lead a MILF to drinking her Mojitos too fast or necking her champagne. We recommend you subtly pace your MILF because chances are, she can’t drink like she used to. Not yet anyway, with a little training she’ll improve but your initial dates require finesse or you’ll end up with a drunken MILF.
That can get messy. Or she may just fall asleep (refer to point 1)
3. Be complimentary
Your MILF may be suffering from lowered self-esteem so, like all women, she would like to be complimented. If you happen to be fortunate enough to make it to 2nd or 3rd base you must seriously remember this point especially if you are her first point of contact after breakup post babies and breast feeding.
She’s wondering if you can tell she’s suckled a piglet for 12 months or pushed watermelons from her vagina.
Say nice things. Always best if you actually mean it. MILFs can smell insincerity, and dirty nappies, a mile away.
4. Candle light in the bedroom
We recommend this step for a number of reasons. Please refer to point above, but also candle light will hide the bruising of her tender bikini region where she attempted a home wax job because she didn’t have a 5 spare minutes away from the children to seek professional help.
If you do notice anything, do not mention it unless she does.
5. Do not be offended if she leaves mid-meal
Children have an innate sense of timing and her first obligation is her family. If she gets a call from a babysitter one mouthful into her coq au vin and she needs to leave, you pouting like a petulant child will certainly ruin your chances of further dates.
She already has enough sulking in her life.
Offer her a ride home, and reassure you that you understand and you will be patient. And mean it.
6. Choose your fuzz
The MILF is unused to the rigorous hair removal required for getting back onto the dating scene. In her former life things could slide for a while and it didn’t matter if she got lucky whilst carrying a layer of fuzz because everyone just felt lucky to be there. With time being precious it’s often difficult to get to a salon for regular hair removal so it it best to refer to the Meatloaf song “Two Outta Three Ain’t Bad.”
If you have two fairly hairless regions then you should count yourself lucky. If you have three then it’s probably your first time getting to see it and she’s out to impress so don’t feel slighted if it slide thereafter.
Your MILF is probably a little tender of heart, cynical of men, and worried about everyone except herself. If you show go slow, show patience and care, make her laugh and feel good, then you may be lucky enough to experience of the joy a MILF has to offer.