My head

Cupid’s Arrow

April 29, 2015

cupids arrow

Although as a species we are perfectly capable of existing just fine on our own, most of us lean towards pair bonding.

Obviously, the more adventurous or crazy among us live polygamously however I have a hard enough time maintaining one relationship let alone juggling multiple sets of feelings, multiple libidos, and washing all of those sheets.

Many people are content living on their own with no companion to share their bed or tea with however for me, I like having a wingman. Someone that has my back, metaphorically, and also tickles my back as I’m lying next to them reading my book.

Or tickles my front, which is also rather nice.

Love matching, or chasing Cupid’s arrow, is a multi million dollar industry and people will go to many lengths to find the partner of their dreams, or even a substandard substitute as the case may be, because we are designed to emit hormones that make us feel good when we’re feeling loved up. That sexy smelling armpit of someone whose pheromones float our boat releases happy hormones – oxytocin – and that helps us to feel safe and connected.

As a species we crave love. We love love.

I love love.

There’s something about that feeling when someone sends you a little message during the day to let you know that they are thinking of you. A little joke, or maybe something cheeky.

When was the last time you did that?

There’s also something about locking eyes with someone and you both know you’re thinking –


I’m currently in the fairly new stages of something really rather lovely with someone I’ve known for a really long time (from before Tinder even existed), and I’m remembering all of those little things that you do when you’re experiencing all of those first flutterings.

I am not considering cohabiting or anything wacky like that, but right now I’m happy to have someone to hold my hand as I take a walk in the sun, or to stroke my hair as I lean my head into a strong, sexy smelling shoulder with faint wafts of pheromones that release my oxytocin.

I’m experiencing all of these feelings and I keep saying to myself, and to him

‘Let’s never stop doing this….’


“Let’s never stop being so affectionate with each other.”

“Let’s never stop being so considerate of each other.”

“Let’s never stop laughing so much together.”

“Let’s never take each other for granted.”

“Let’s never stop putting each other’s desires first.”

I don’t know if it’s possible not to slip into the ‘comfy old slipper routine’ because time and proximity breeds familiarity. Everyone knows that to maintain a healthy and loving relationship you need to work on it.

I’m all for working on it.

The most rewarding and best things I’ve ever achieved I’ve worked hard on, so why would love be different?

For all of the thousands of dollars I spent in marriage therapy I can’t really put my finger on one single reason that it didn’t work, but I know that all of those ‘let’s never’s’ I just mentioned were the first things to disappear.

Maybe that’s the lesson I needed to learn?

To be aware of those things from the very beginning so if they slide I can fix it immediately before it turns into an avalanche.

Are you putting in the work to keep your love fresh?

Can you see the Cupid’s arrow in that picture I took? I totally see it.



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  • Reply Taffy April 29, 2015 at 7:38 am

    Awwww. So very happy for you, chickadee. For all three (four) of you.

    Life, the universe, and everything is lighter and easier when your heart is singing. Yay.

  • Reply Lila April 29, 2015 at 8:25 am

    I would thoroughly recommend reading any of John Gottmans’ books on marriage, there’s some great insights into why marriages / relationships do and don’t thrive and it’s all research based.
    You’re definitely on the right track with keepin focus on retaining affection and consideration.

  • Reply Sonia from Sonia Styling April 29, 2015 at 12:55 pm

    I think you’ve nailed the secret right at the end there. I’ve been with my (now) husband for 10 years. We have phases of comfortable familiarity – truth be told, it’s mostly that – but still have plenty of those fun and sexy sparks. Whether it’s me planting a spontaneous pash on him or silently leading him to the bedroom or him bringing me home flowers or pinching my butt. Whatever it is, capitalise on that moment and then sink comfortably and lovingly into each other’s arms. x

  • Reply Sam Stone May 5, 2015 at 1:55 pm

    I totally see it and I love it!

  • Reply Zanni May 6, 2015 at 9:53 am

    Lovely to hear you are having a happy loving time. It’s been a good morning, catching up on your posts. You write so damn well. Happy for you xx

    • Reply Danielle May 6, 2015 at 5:24 pm

      Hey Z, yeah things are pretty peachy. I’m chuffed you enjoyed catching up with me xxx How are you guys?

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