Let me share with you 10 reasons why cats are better than husbands. It’s a no brainer when you think about it.
1. You can have more than one cat. Many people actually recommend having more than one cat. They play together and they keep each other company. No one has ever recommended having more than one husband. It’s is not only taxing emotionally, but it would be physically arduous.
2. A cat doesn’t gag if you fart in bed. In fact, I suspect mine secretly likes a dutch oven because he’s doesn’t move. Some mornings I expect him to be dead, like canary in a mine shaft, but so far so good.
3. A cat doesn’t complain about cold hands touching him. Haven’t worked out how to train him to warm my feet. I’ve heard about people rubbing honey on their feet for their pets to lick off with their warm tongues but I think socks are far more practical.
4. My cat is totally happy to eat the same oral care biscuits and meat in gravy for years on end. No imaginative or time consuming food preparation required.
5. He gives me complete control of the remote control when we snuggle on the couch, as long as he can sits on me somewhere and somehow. If I don’t let him get cosy, he does sometimes stand on the remote and ruin everything. I’m pretty sure it premeditated.
6. If he wakes me up amorously pre-dawn I can shove him unceremoniously off the bed and he doesn’t take it personally or bear a grudge.
7. Never, ever finishes the wine and doesn’t put a freshy in the fridge. In fact, never drinks my wine full stop. He will lick the ice-cream bowl after I’m finished with it but I’m cool with that.
8. Never wants to sit up late watching tv and is always ready to go to bed when I am. Any time of day or night.
9. Never leaves the toilet seat up. In fact, doesn’t mess my bathroom at all. Admittedly, he occasionally kicks a cat nugget out of his box by mistake but picking that up with toilet paper is preferable to Toilet Ducking someone else’s bowl skids.
10. Takes care of his own washing. Sometimes yaks a fur ball on my cow skin, but otherwise, he’s fresh smelling and self cleansing, and requires no folding or ironing.