*** This is a sponsored post. All ideas and bed fantasies are my own***
I have had a few sleepovers of late at people’s houses whose spare beds have sucked. Quite literally.
You know that thing when the springs have gone from the middle and you get engulfed by the bed vortex like Johnny Depp in Nightmare on Elm Street?
If the mattress is not too far gone, and you’re sleeping alone, it can actually feel as though you are being cuddled by a big marshmallow but throw a man sized bed buddy into the mix and you’re like some weird hybrid double hot dog in a squishy bun. No matter which way you roll the black hole sucks you back in and you become one conjoined creature with too many arms and legs.
Naturally, I didn’t complain to my hosts about the sad situation of my back the following morning, but I ended up at physio the following week for back pain. Related to the hot dog scenario? We will never know but next time I’ll drag that sorry mattress onto the floor rather than endure an evening feeling like processed pork snouts.
There is nothing better than climbing into my bed at the end of a long day.
Sometimes if I’m out late at night – you know, after 9.30 and stuff – I can hear it calling me from across town. It is my sanctuary and safe haven, and there really is nothing like your own bed…. until someone heavy (sorry, babe) sits on the end of it and breaks a slat.
One slat is not the end of the world, you you say. One slat can be replaced at Bunnings, you say, but one slat leads to two slats and before you know it…..hell, who am I kidding?
I just want to trade my bed in for a king.
I don’t mean a dude with a jewelled crown and a fist full of bullion (although if anyone knows of one that looking for a slightly stressed and dishevelled mum of two give me a call), I mean a great big bed large enough to fit both of my children, and my fair self all starfished at the same time.
Currently, my queen size fits myself and one child comfortably.
At a push I can do both children but they gravitate towards me like moths to a flame and they both want to press their sweaty little bodies all over mine somehow. One child likes to sleep in the hollow of my shoulder, which is all well and good until my arm dies a death and can only be revived by physically grabbing it with the other hand and getting the circulation going again.
The other child has a preference for sleeping on top on me. When she was 3 kilos it was adorable, now at 20 kilos it does not bode well for a night’s rest.
Still, it is manageable if we must. I wait until they are asleep and then try to claim my own space, but alas, they bring their best friends with them and this is where the real problems begin. Big Dog, Ratty, Sheepie, Koe and New York Teddy (we’re imaginative with names around here) take up the space of another two people and hell hath no nocturnal fury like a toddler who’s told not to bring a friend into Mummy’s bed.
Bottom line is I want a bigger bed.
I NEED A BIGGER BED.
Next step is deciding on a mattress. I like it firm. And seeing as it’s my bed and I only share with with small people (and occasionally a very handsome dude who just cleaned my gutters – not a euphemism) firm it shall be, but still not all firm mattresses are created equally.
Did you know you can even get half and half beds? Me either. That seems very decadent.
Sleepmaker have new mattress selector where you can answer a few simple questions and they will advise you as you your perfect mattress match. It’s like Tinder for beds.
Perhaps before making this purchase that the entire family, furry friends and all, will live with for the foreseeable future I ought to ask an expert because one may never be seen again in a saggy hotdog mattress with that managerie.
What’s your bed like?
Big enough for you all?
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