My head

Everything is ok, it’s just Christmas

December 24, 2015

Everything is ok, it's just christmasI read back over my pre-Christmas blog post from last year just now to check in with where I was this time last year.

The Lindt siege had just happened, and I was all akimbo about Christmas because of the tragic state of my family life. And the state of the world got a mention too because it’s not all about me all of the time.

Lies. Course it is.

Needless to say, we haven’t achieved world peace this year, but I’ve had one hell of a cracking year. I nearly went all akimbo over Christmas again this year because I was going to have an orphan Christmas away from my family, and kids for half the day.

I invited Mister H for a sleepover Christmas eve, so we can both wake up with the kids. That’s pretty progressive, I agree, but neither of us should miss out and we are big enough (me) and ugly enough (him) to hang out in the name of Santa. Then he’ll take them for the afternoon.

Someone suggested I volunteer at a soup kitchen and hand out meals to the poor, but as much as I love the concept and all, I seriously think that’s an epically pants way to cheer myself up from missing my family Christmas afternoon.

Thankfully, a way cooler, if less altruistic, plan was hatched and I’m off to Manly to have a girly afternoon with a dear girlfriend who is also splitting the day with her ex….her first Christmas like this so I’m the veteran.

We’re throwing a party in the evening and we’ll most likely drink too much and participate in unsafe beach swimming whilst intoxicated, but we’ll survive Christmas with a smile because it’s just another day.

I also kicked my bah humbugs to the curb when I realised I got the kids the best Christmas gift EVER.

I got them one of those fandangled cubby houses that brand new cost more than getting an extension on your house, but I got it second-hand and fancied it up.

I found the perfect one on eBay, so I stealth bid and won that puppy out from under everyone’s noses.

I just needed to arrange to pick it up. I set up an Airtasker request asking for a dude and a van, and I’ll pay him $20 an hour to go and get my cubby, but the guy I bought it off asked me to help him take it down.

“I earn $1000 a day and dismantling your cubby is not what I want to do with my day off,” he said….even though it’s your responsibility when you sell shit on ebay, douchecanoe.

I may have rolled my eyes so hard he heard it down the phone.

Everything is ok, it's just christmas

He insisted I come and help him dismantle it. Well, not me, actually. He asked me to send my husband.

“I would,” I replied, “except for one minor issue.”

“You don’t have a husband?”

“Well, technically I do.” Not awkward at all.

“Are you a single mother?”

I actually heard the back peddling.

“Uh huh.”

“Ok, well, maybe I can help you out because……. It’ll make your kids happy.”

I quite enjoyed his discomfort to be honest. I’m going to hell anyway so this is just fluff in the bellybutton of judgement day.

Building that cubby (with the help of some awesome friends), and painting that cubby made me get my Christmas spirit back.

Now I’m looking forward to Christmas day this year. It may not be a perfectly orthodox picture, but my kids will go ballistic over the cubby, I’ll drink till I can’t feel my face, and then in a couple of days I’ll be in the bosom of my family for 10 days.

I wish you a spectacular Christmas.

Thanks for all of your love and support through the year, every time you comment or like I get a warm fuzzy because I love knowing that you’re out there and we’re all in this together.

Peace, yo.

Everything is ok, it's just christmas

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  • Reply Zanni December 24, 2015 at 5:59 pm

    Have a beautiful Xmas honey. Sounds like you have it sorted! And that cubby is amazing! X

  • Reply jenni from styling curvy December 24, 2015 at 6:09 pm

    You did good…the cubby looks bloody amazing!!! Happy Christmas X

  • Reply Momma G December 24, 2015 at 6:43 pm

    Dan, you are effing awesome. Never ever ever for a minute forget that. My MIL is in love with your mad photog skillz – she LOVES your photos – I even used THAT photo (you know the one I’m talking about) in our Christmas E-card this year!

    It’s a difficult time of the year for us too, for many many reasons. We are having a very small Christmas this year, but not by choice. So I made up for it by having a big pre-Christmas bash last night, and I’m still smiling at the success of the evening – old friends meeting new people and making new friends, and our house torn apart by 7 kids ranging from 8 years old to 21 months. It was my idea of heaven.

    Much love from us 4 to you and yours. Merry Christmas! xxxx

  • Reply Trish Porter December 25, 2015 at 1:01 am

    Dan, just want to wish you a very Merry Christmas. Your posts & blog make me laugh and feel like i’m somewhat normal with all the ramblings of a single mum……I thought you were awesome when I met you and loved your food that you made and now hell you are still awesome and an inspiration to me!

  • Reply San December 25, 2015 at 10:13 am

    I think we’re going to be seeing you on “The Block” after the cubby house effort Mama Bear. Bit of mossie netting and you can run a B & B. Bloody awesome. Ava lubbly jubbly one hunny and thank you SOOOO much for providing us, your fans, with some seriously deep, thought-provoking and incredibly funny writings. Muchos amore’ Baby…. will be raising several glasses to you and yours XOXOXOXOXOX

  • Reply susievenkat December 29, 2015 at 5:47 pm

    That cubby is awesome. Your kids are lucky to have a mum who can fancy things up like that – I aint one of those… Continue writing and entertaining us into 2016 and Happy 2016 to you…

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