You put on your uniform with so much pride. your shorts are swimming on you but you refuse to let me change them. Because they’re size 6 and you’re nearly 6. Not 4. Not 5. I sneaky changed two of them because I was worried they’d fall down when you ran around. It ain’t easy having snake hips.
You tied your shoelaces with extra attention, wanting the loops to be even, wanting them to stay done up and not untie in two minutes as they so often do.
We’ve been looking forward to this day for a while and it’s finally here. You are so very ready and dying to get amongst it but I want to say a few things to you as you embark on this new adventure.
I’m not sad about you growing up, and I’m not fearful about letting you go one more inch as each new milestone asks of me. In fact, I’m proud. I think you’re awesome.
What worries me is other kids because kids can be jerks. School is like a jungle and it’s remarkable anyone makes it through without needing therapy because trying to find your way through the social quagmire of school can be tricky.
Trust your gut. If you think something feels crappy, then don’t go along with everyone else just be a part of a crew.
Remember to be kind, not because one day someone might be your boss but because you’re a kind boy and hurting other people to impress your friends is something jerks do, and you’re not a jerk. Well, sometimes you can be a bit of a jerk, but I can sometimes be a complete jerk and I guess apples never really fall far from the tree.
Just remember that being kind is more important than being popular, and being yourself is more important than being cool, ok?
Respect the girls. Right now you’re all friends, but soon girls will be yucky….and then before you know it they’ll smell nice and you’ll like them again so don’t tease them because the liking them part will come around faster than either of us really care to think about.
I remember all of your firsts.
Your first badly bumped head and I sat with you in my arms all night because I was worried you had concussion – not like now where you need to actually have blood and brains hanging out before I pay attention. Sorry about that. You need to desensitise as a mum or your heart won’t make it to your kid’s 21st.
Your first swear word. Quite a milestone. It was only shit, I was quite surprised it wasn’t worse to be honest.
The remember the first day you walked into kindy in your stripy blue tee. I thought you looked like a little french boy with your blond hair, khaki shorts and backpack. You cried that day. I cried that day too. Will we cry today? I don’t think you will.
The love way you climb into bed with me in the morning and you tuck your little spoon body into my big spoon warmth. These moments are fleeting, and this first step into big school will accelerate your growth from my little boy to a big independent dude kid with stinky feet, and secrets from his mum.
You don’t have secrets now. You tell me stuff.
I want you to know you can always tell me stuff. Even bad stuff. Because I have your back and no matter what’s going down we can tackle stuff together because we’re on the same team.
I’m on your team. Always.
I knew the deal when they laid you on my chest almost six years ago. You’re just on loan to me and my only job is to make you ready to fly, little bird, and today is one big push out of the nest…. but I’ll be there at home-time. I’ll be waiting to hear all of your exciting news, and I’ll probably be waiting all day for the clock to roll around but that’s my job too.
Be kind. Try not to pee on your shoelaces. And remember your mama is so proud of you because you’re kind, funny and caring. Everything else can be learned if you just hold on to those things.
Go fly, little bird. I’ll catch you at the school gate this afternoon.
All my love,