I’ve had many kinds of love in my lifetime because I used to fall in love very easily.
In fairness, I would subsequently fall out of love too and leave a trail of burning destruction at times but there is something indescribably delicious about falling in love so you must forgive me for wanting to do it over and over.
I have had love that was crazy and dangerous, and I had love that was quiet and needed coaxing out of its shell like a shy creature. I dabbled in disrespectful love and lust, and I tried on some uneven love where we just didn’t meet on the same level.
I even had love that left a terrible itch once. No, I’m not being metaphorical, an actual burning itch that needed medical attention.
In all of my experience of the intoxicating four-letter-word, I think I have to say my favorite kind of love is easy love.
Easy love is when there is no struggle, no insecurity, no questioning its tangibility, just simple, easy and fun love.
Now, relationships aren’t always easy and they never will be but the love part, or the loving them part, is divine when that part is just easy. If you find that love, you should grab it with both hands and treat it like a precious jewel because that shit is hard to come by.
Some people experience it a few glorious times in a lifetime, but others? They may never experience it at all.
I met a guy 12 years ago when he was dating my boss and I was dating his friend. We weren’t especially tight but we hung out a few times and we got along well. He had a good sense of humour, an exuberance for life and he was just my kind of gorgeous.
When my relationship ended wth a most spectacular bang, and my heart was torn asunder, and this gentle-man would call me now again to see how those bleeding pieces of mine were going. It wasn’t romance, he was just checking in because he felt that I was badly done by… also the police and heavies were chasing my stupid-ass ex and he wanted to make sure no one had broken my fingers chasing money.
My life was a proper mess, but it was my twenties and I was, you know, dumb.
That said, what with boys being boys and stuff, he probably fancied me a little bit, but I never got the vibe it was a come on….. until one day we changed that vibe with a subtle flirt.
He was not living in my state so we tested the waters with a very awkward dirty weekend, but over time we repeated it a few times and it grew into a very relaxed friendship with great benefits. We dabbled with a proper dalliance one time but our timing wasn’t aligned. We wanted different things.
I’m not going to go into the ins and outs of the next 8 years because I got married to someone else, and had someone else’s children and had an entire relationship that had many fine points but you would never call it easy.
But that didn’t work out as planned and this gentle-man came back into my life with a chance invitation to a party just when I needed someone thoughtful, and tender. Someone to help me put the broken bits back in a semblance of order.
A relationship with me is fun and zany and deep but it is not always easy, because I’m moody, neurotic and prone to bouts of crazy and it takes a special kind of patient man to work with that creature… and her adorable children who are also charming yet moody and can be spectacular passion killers without really even trying.
This hasn’t been a super smooth sailing love story, and I have no idea how it ends but for now, the damaged pieces of myself have been rebuilt better than ever. In fact, you can hardly even see the cracks anymore because that gentle-man has polished me with kindness and love until I became shiny again.
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