OH MY GOD!!!! 40, DUDE!!!!!!!
A year ago a good friend of yours turned 40 and she had a little crisis about it. You were so blasé about her crisis and she said “just wait until it’s you….”
Well, now it is you. You have many things that you freak out about unnecessarily but forty – freaking, fabulous forty – is not one of them. You are excited about it… you freakin’ made it. We may have been sceptical at moments, but you have made it!!
You have done a lot of shit in your 40 years, my friend. As your Mama said in your birthday card “you’ve had some spectacular ups and downs” but you have not done this shit by halves, you know?
Yeah, you’re a nut job at times, and Jesus, you’ve made some shocking decisions. You let weird stuff freak you out and you get all in a tizzy, but you know what? You are a kind, wacky, sweet, kooky individual and that shit is all part of your charm.
I reckon you’re getting better as you get older. Obviously, your boobs are sad shadows of their former selves, you have wrinkles and random hairs growing in strange places… anway, numnuts, I’m not really talking about your appearance, I’m talking about your heart and soul.
You are stubborn and tenacious, but you are caring and giving. You are soft and hard at the same time. You are thoughtful, and well-intentioned but you get a bit sidetracked and forget to finish shit.
Your life is amazing because you have surrounded yourself with incredible people who help you to be a better person. That’s important, becasue you can’t go it alone all the time. Ensure your love cup is regularly replenished, and it is when you just reach out to any of your friends.
Don’t forget to reach out.
You are always your own worst critic and I reckon that’s the thing you need to focus on in your 40s. You are very quick to judge yourself as not good enough, or compare yourself to others. That is your challenge from now on…you are you, dude. You will never be like them, but conversely, they will never be like you.
You don’t really want to be like them. Even if they appear more successful or together, or happier or more sorted, they aren’t. They are just as scatty as you and we are all making this shit up and faking the rest.
Be like you. Want to be like you, because you’re alright, kid.
Spend more time doing stuff you love this decade. Don’t rush so much. The kids are growing up fast and you’re doing an awesome job, but remember to be present. Yep, I know more than anyone that you are working full time and parenting full time, but just try to be present in whatever it is you’re doing in that moment. You concentrate on ten things at once and then you do shitty half focused things.
So, do your best. That’s all you can do, and your best is fucking awesome, seriously.
Anyway, forty feels good on you. No existential crisis here, just a cracking opportunity to throw a big party on Saturday night, get dressed up and dance around your living room like you’re 21, because just like your mum always promised you, that about how old you’ll feel forever but the years will keep on marching.
Happy birthday, lady. Don’t go changing, but I guess now that you’re an old dog you probably couldn’t if you tried.
All my love,
PS You nearly didn’t write yourself a letter this year, but it is somewhat of a tradition now, so I’m pleased you pulled your finger out.